Upgrades
Currently on v.8 (Android).
Strikethrough indicates that this upgrade has not yet been implemented.
Name | Cost | Description |
---|---|---|
Reinforced index finger | 100 | Tapping and cursors are twice as efficient. prod prod |
Carpal tunnel prevention cream | 500 | Tapping and cursors are twice as efficient. it… it hurts to click… |
Ambidextrous | 10,000 | Tapping and cursors are twice as efficient. Look ma, both hands! |
Thousand fingers | 100,000 | Tapping and cursors gain +0.1 cookies for each non-cursor object owned. clickity |
Million fingers | 10M | Multiplies the gain from Thousand fingers by 5. clickityclickity |
Billion fingers | 100M | Multiplies the gain from Thousand fingers by 10. clickityclickityclickity |
Trillion fingers | 1B | Multiplies the gain from Thousand fingers by 20. clickityclickityclickityclickity |
Quadrillion fingers | 10B | Multiplies the gain from Thousand fingers by 20. clickityclickityclickityclickityclick |
Quintillion fingers | 10T | Multiplies the gain from Thousand fingers by 20. man, just go click click click click click, it’s real easy, man. |
Sextillion fingers | 10Qa | Multiplies the gain from Thousand fingers by 20. sometimes things just click |
Septillion fingers | 10Qi | Multiplies the gain from Thousand fingers by 20. [cursory flavor text] |
Octillion fingers | 10Sx | Multiplies the gain from Thousand fingers by 20. Turns out you can quite put your finger on it. |
Nonillion fingers | 10Sp | Multiplies the gain from Thousand fingers by 20. Only for the freakiest handshakes. |
Decillion fingers | 10Oc | Multiplies the gain from Thousand fingers by 20. If you still can’t quite put your finger on it, you must not be trying very hard. |
Undecillion fingers | 10No | Multiplies the gain from Thousand fingers by 20. Whatever you touch turns to dough in your clutch. |
Plastic mouse | 50,000 | Tapping gains +1% of your CpS. Slightly squeaky. (Look, pal. We both know you’re tapping these cookies instead of clicking them. Let’s just pretend this mouse helps somehow.) |
Iron mouse | 5M | Tapping gains +1% of your CpS. Click like it’s 1,349! |
Titanium mouse | 500M | Tapping gains +1% of your CpS. Heavy, but powerful. |
Adamantium mouse | 50B | Tapping gains +1% of your CpS. You could cut diamond with these. |
Unobtainium mouse | 5T | Tapping gains +1% of your CpS. These nice mice should suffice. |
Eludium mouse | 500T | Tapping gains +1% of your CpS. I rodent do that if I were you. |
Wishalloy mouse | 50Qa | Tapping gains +1% of your CpS. Clicking is fine and dandy, but don’t smash your mouse over it. Get your game on. Go play. |
Fantasteel mouse | 5Qi | Tapping gains +1% of your CpS. You could be clicking using your touchpad and we’d be none the wiser. |
Nevercrack mouse | 500Qi | Tapping gains +1% of your CpS. How much beefier can you make a mouse until it’s considered a rat? |
Armythril mouse | 50Sx | Tapping gains +1% of your CpS. This one takes about 53 people to push it around and another 48 to jump down on the button and trigger a click. You could say it’s got some heft to it. |
Technobsidian mouse | 5Sp | Tapping gains +1% of your CpS. A highly advanced mouse of a sophisticated design. Only one thing on its mind: to click. |
Plasmarble mouse | 500Sp | Tapping gains +1% of your CpS. A shifting blur in the corner of your eye, this mouse can trigger a flurry of clicks when grazed by even the slightest breeze. |
Miraculite mouse | 50Oc | Tapping gains +1% of your CpS. Composed of a material that neither science nor philosophy are equipped to conceptualize. And boy, does it ever click. |
Aetherice mouse | 5No | Tapping gains +1% of your CpS. Made from a substance impossible to manufacture, only obtained through natural happenstance; its properties bewilder even the most precise measuring instruments. |
Omniplast mouse | 500No | Tapping gains +1% of your CpS. This mouse is, by virtue of the strange elements that make it up, present in every position in space simultaneously, in a manner; this alleviates its owner from the need to move it around, redirecting all such kinetic power to the intensity of its clicks. |
Forwards from grandma | 1,000 | Grandmas are twice as efficient. RE:RE:thought you’d get a kick out of this ;)) |
Steel-plated rolling pins | 5,000 | Grandmas are twice as efficient. Just what you kneaded. |
Lubricated dentures | 50,000 | Grandmas are twice as efficient. squish |
Prune juice | 5M | Grandmas are twice as efficient. Gets me going. |
Double-thick glasses | 500M | Grandmas are twice as efficient. Oh… so THAT’s what I’ve been baking. |
Aging agents | 50B | Grandmas are twice as efficient. Counter-intuitively, grandmas have the uncanny ability to become more powerful the older they get. |
Xtreme walkers | 50T | Grandmas are twice as efficient. Complete with flame decals and a little horn that goes “toot”. |
The Unbridling | 50Qa | Grandmas are twice as efficient. It might be a classic tale of bad parenting, but let’s see where grandma is going with this. |
Reverse dementia | 50Qi | Grandmas are twice as efficient. Extremely unsettling, and somehow even worse than the regular kind. |
Timeproof hair dyes | 50Sx | Grandmas are twice as efficient. Why do they always have those strange wispy pink dos? What do they know about candy floss that we don’t? |
Good manners | 500Sp | Grandmas are twice as efficient. Apparently these ladies are much more amiable if you take the time to learn their strange, ancient customs, which seem to involve saying “please” and “thank you” and staring at the sun with bulging eyes while muttering eldritch curses under your breath. |
Generation degeneration | 5No | Grandmas are twice as efficient. Genetic testing shows that most of your grandmas are infected with a strange degenerative disease that only seems to further their powers; the more time passes, the older they get. This should concern you. |
Visits | 50Dc | Grandmas are twice as efficient. In an extensive double-blind study (sample size: 12 million), your researchers have found evidence that grandmas are up to twice as productive if you just come by and say hi once in a while. It’s nice to check up on your grans! (Do not under any circumstances ingest any tea or tea-like substances the grandmas may offer you.) |
Kitchen cabinets | 500 UnD | Grandmas are twice as efficient. A grandma’s kitchen cabinet is a befuddling place. Through lesser-studied aggregating instincts, grandmas will tend to gradually fill all nearby cabinets with various sorts of things, such as curious coconut snacks or dietetic powders. By contract, these are legally yours, which opens up exciting opportunities for your substance investigation department. |
Foam-tipped canes | 5 TrD | Grandmas are twice as efficient. Perhaps the result of prolonged service, your grandmas have developed all kinds of odd and aggressive hierarchies among themselves; these will help them not hurt each other as bad during their endless turf wars. |
Farmer grandmas | 55,000 | Grandma production doubled. Farms gain +1% CpS per grandma. A nice farmer to grow more cookies. |
Miner grandmas | 600,000 | Grandma production doubled. Mines gain +1% CpS per 2 grandmas. A nice miner to dig more cookies. |
Worker grandmas | 6.5M | Grandma production doubled. Factories gain +1% CpS per 3 grandmas. A nice worker to manufacture more cookies. |
Cosmic grandmas | 255B | Grandma production doubled. Shipments gain +1% CpS per 7 grandmas. A nice thing to… uh… cookies. |
Transmuted grandmas | 3.8T | Grandma production doubled. Alchemy labs gain +1% CpS per 8 grandmas. A nice golden grandma to convert into more cookies. |
Altered grandmas | 50T | Grandma production doubled. Portals gain +1% CpS per 9 grandmas. a NiCe GrAnDmA tO bA########## |
Grandmas’ grandmas | 700T | Grandma production doubled. Time machines gain +1% CpS per 10 grandmas. A nice grandma’s nice grandma to bake double the cookies. |
Banker grandmas | 70M | Grandma production doubled. Banks gain +1% CpS per 4 grandmas. A nice banker to cash in more cookies. |
Priestess grandmas | 1B | Grandma production doubled. Temples gain +1% CpS per 5 grandmas. A nice priestess to praise the one true Baker in the sky. |
Witch grandmas | 16.5B | Grandma production doubled. Wizard towers gain +1% CpS per 6 grandmas. A nice witch to cast a zip, and a zoop, and poof! Cookies. |
Antigrandmas | 8.5Qa | Grandma production doubled. Antimatter condensers gain +1% CpS per 11 grandmas. A mean antigrandma to vomit more cookies. |
Rainbow grandmas | 105Qa | Grandma production doubled. Prisms gain +1% CpS per 12 grandmas. A luminous grandma to sparkle into cookies. |
Lucky grandmas | 1.3Qi | Grandma production doubled. Chancemakers gain +1% CpS per 13 grandmas. A fortunate grandma that always seems to find more cookies. |
Metagrandmas | 15.5Qi | Grandma production doubled. Fractal engines gain +1% CpS per 14 grandmas. A fractal grandma to make more grandmas to make more cookies. |
Binary grandmas | 3.6Sx | Grandma production doubled. Javascript consoles gain +1% CpS per 15 grandmas. A digital grandma to transfer more cookies. (See also : boolean grandmas, string grandmas, and not-a-number grandmas, also known as “NaNs”.) |
Alternate grandmas | 600Sx | Grandma production doubled. Idleverses gain +1% CpS per 16 grandmas. A different grandma to bake something else. |
Brainy grandmas | 95Sp | Grandma production doubled. Cortex bakers gain +1% CpS per 17 grandmas. A clever grandma to think up some cookies. |
Clone grandmas | 27Oc | Grandma production doubled. You gain +1% CpS per 18 grandmas. Yet another grandma to replicate even more cookies. |
Cheap hoes | 11,000 | Farms are twice as efficient. Rake in the dough! |
Fertilizer | 55,000 | Farms are twice as efficient. It’s chocolate, I swear. |
Cookie trees | 550,000 | Farms are twice as efficient. A relative of the breadfruit. |
Genetically-modified cookies | 55M | Farms are twice as efficient. All-natural mutations. |
Gingerbread scarecrows | 5.5B | Farms are twice as efficient. Staring at your crops with mischievous glee. |
Pulsar sprinklers | 550B | Farms are twice as efficient. There’s no such thing as over-watering. The moistest is the bestest. |
Fudge fungus | 550T | Farms are twice as efficient. A sugary parasite whose tendrils help cookie growth. Please do not breathe in the spores. In case of spore ingestion, seek medical help within the next 36 seconds. |
Wheat triffids | 550Qa | Farms are twice as efficient. Taking care of crops is so much easier when your plants can just walk about and help around the farm. Do not pet. Do not feed. Do not attempt to converse with. |
Humane pesticides | 550Qi | Farms are twice as efficient. Made by people, for people, from people and ready to unleash some righteous scorching pain on those pesky insects that so deserve it. |
Barnstars | 550Sx | Farms are twice as efficient. Ah, yes. These help quite a bit. Somehow. |
Lindworms | 5.5Oc | Farms are twice as efficient. You have to import these from far up north, but they really help areate the soil! |
Global seed vault | 55No | Farms are twice as efficient. An enormous genetic repository that could outlive an apocalypse. Guarantees the survival of your empire, or at the very least its agricultural components, should civilization fall. Which should be any day now. |
Reverse-veganism | 550Dc | Farms are twice as efficient. Plants aren’t for eating, plants are for exploitative agriculture and astronomical profit margins! |
Cookie mulch | 5.5 DoD | Farms are twice as efficient. Grinding surplus cookies into paste that you then spread onto your fields enables a strange feedback loop in the quality of your cookie crops. Cookie feeding on cookie should be an abomination, but then why does it taste so good? |
Self-driving tractors | 55 TrD | Farms are twice as efficient. Embarked AI lets your field vehicles sow and harvest cookie crops at any time of the day or night, and with so few human casualties, too! |
Sugar gas | 120,000 | Mines are twice as efficient. A pink, volatile gas, found in the depths of some chocolate caves. |
Megadrill | 600,000 | Mines are twice as efficient. You’re in deep. |
Ultradrill | 6M | Mines are twice as efficient. Finally caved in? |
Ultimadrill | 600M | Mines are twice as efficient. Pierce the heavens, etc. |
H-bomb mining | 60B | Mines are twice as efficient. Questionable efficiency, but spectacular nonetheless. |
Coreforge | 6T | Mines are twice as efficient. You’ve finally dug a tunnel down to the Earth’s core. It’s pretty warm down here. |
Planetsplitters | 6Qa | Mines are twice as efficient. These new state-of-the-art excavators have been tested on Merula, Globort and Flwanza VI, among other distant planets which have been curiously quiet lately. |
Canola oil wells | 6Qi | Mines are twice as efficient. A previously untapped resource, canola oil permeates the underground olifers which grant it its particular taste and lucrative properties. |
Mole people | 6Sx | Mines are twice as efficient. Engineered from real human beings within your very labs, these sturdy little folks have a knack for finding the tastiest underground minerals in conditions that more expensive machinery probably wouldn’t survive. |
Mine canaries | 6Sp | Mines are twice as efficient. These aren’t used for anything freaky! The miners just enjoy having a pet or two down there. |
Bore again | 60Oc | Mines are twice as efficient. After extracting so much sediment for so long, you’ve formed some veritable mountains of your own from the accumulated piles of rock and dirt. Time to dig through those and see if you find anything fun! |
Air mining | 600No | Mines are twice as efficient. You’ve dug your drills through just about every solid surface you could find. But did you know recent advances have revealed untold riches hiding within non-solid surfaces too? |
Caramel alloys | 6 UnD | Mines are twice as efficient. Your geologists have isolated a family of once-overlooked sugary ores that, when combined, may be turned into even more cookie ingredients. Your millions of miles of previously useless tunnels probably house insane amounts of the stuff! |
Delicious mineralogy | 60 DoD | Mines are twice as efficient. Stratum after stratum, you’ve extracted strange new minerals heretofore unknown to geology. Ushering a new era of materials research, your scientists have been able to identify every new element your mines have discovered, including whatever those things are in the upgrade tier names. |
Mineshaft supports | 600 TrD | Mines are twice as efficient. You were rather skeptical about installing such embarrassingly low-tech implements, but limiting the number of daily cave-ins really does help with that annoying employee turnover! |
Sturdier conveyor belts | 1.3M | Factories are twice as efficient. You’re going places. |
Child labor | 6.5M | Factories are twice as efficient. Cheaper, healthier workforce. |
Sweatshop | 65M | Factories are twice as efficient. Slackers will be terminated. |
Radium reactors | 6.5B | Factories are twice as efficient. Gives your cookies a healthy glow. |
Recombobulators | 650B | Factories are twice as efficient. A major part of cookie recombobulation. |
Deep-bake process | 65T | Factories are twice as efficient. A patented process increasing cookie yield two-fold for the same amount of ingredients. Don’t ask how, don’t take pictures, and be sure to wear your protective suit. |
Cyborg workforce | 65Qa | Factories are twice as efficient. Semi-synthetic organisms don’t slack off, don’t unionize, and have 20% shorter lunch breaks, making them ideal labor fodder. |
78-hour days | 65Qi | Factories are twice as efficient. Why didn’t we think of this earlier? |
Machine learning | 65Sx | Factories are twice as efficient. You figured you might get better productivity if you actually told your workers to learn how to work the machines. Sometimes, it’s the little things… |
Brownie point system | 65Sp | Factories are twice as efficient. Oh, these are lovely! You can now reward your factory employees for good behavior, such as working overtime or snitching on coworkers. 58 brownie points gets you a little picture of a brownie, and 178 of those pictures gets you an actual brownie piece for you to do with as you please! Infantilizing? Maybe. Oodles of fun? You betcha! |
“Volunteer” interns | 650Oc | Factories are twice as efficient. If you’re bad at something, always do it for free. |
Behavioral reframing | 6.5Dc | Factories are twice as efficient. Through careful social engineering you’ve convinced your workers that “union” is a slur that only the most vile and repugnant filth among us would ever dare utter! Sometimes progress isn’t in the big machines, it’s in the little lies! |
The infinity engine | 65 UnD | Factories are twice as efficient. In this house, I guess we don’t care much for the laws of thermodynamics. |
N-dimensional assembly lines | 650 DoD | Factories are twice as efficient. Lines are depressingly 1-dimensional. Beyond assembly lines, we posit the existence of higher-order assembly entities, such as assembly squares, assembly cubes - perhaps even assembly tesseracts. Any deeper than that and we doubt we’ll be able to write manuals your workers can read. |
Universal automation | 6.5 QaD | Factories are twice as efficient. It’s simple common sense; the more automation, the less work you have to do! Maybe one day you’ll even automate yourself out of your own job. Exciting! |
Taller tellers | 14M | Banks are twice as efficient. Able to process a higher amount of transactions. Careful though, as taller tellers tell tall tales. |
Scissor-resistant credit cards | 70M | Banks are twice as efficient. For those truly valued customers. |
Acid-proof vaults | 700M | Banks are twice as efficient. You know what they say: better safe than sorry. |
Chocolate coins | 70B | Banks are twice as efficient. This revolutionary currency is much easier to melt from and into ingots - and tastes much better, for a change. |
Exponential interest rates | 7T | Banks are twice as efficient. Can’t argue with mathematics! Now fork it over. |
Financial zen | 700T | Banks are twice as efficient. The ultimate grail of economic thought; the feng shui of big money, the stock market yoga - the Heimlich maneuver of dimes and nickels. |
Way of the wallet | 700Qa | Banks are twice as efficient. This new monetary school of thought is all the rage on the banking scene; follow its precepts and you may just profit from it. |
The stuff rationale | 700Qi | Banks are twice as efficient. If not now, when? If not it, what? If not things… stuff? |
Edible money | 700Sx | Banks are twice as efficient. It’s really quite simple; you make all currency too delicious not to eat, solving world hunger and inflation in one fell swoop! |
Grand supercycles | 700Sp | Banks are twice as efficient. We let the public think these are complicated financial terms when really we’re just rewarding the bankers with snazzy bicycles for a job well done. It’s only natural after you built those fancy gold swimming pools for them, where they can take a dip and catch Kondratiev waves. |
Rules of acquisition | 7No | Banks are twice as efficient. Rule 387: a cookie baked is a cookie kept. |
Altruistic loop | 70Dc | Banks are twice as efficient. You control so many branches of the global economy and legislative bodies that, through a particularly creative loophole, donating money (to yourself) grants you even more cash in tax deductions than you started with! |
Diminishing tax returns | 700 UnD | Banks are twice as efficient. Wow, they’re tiny! Wish you’d thought of that sooner! |
Cookie Points | 7 TrD | Banks are twice as efficient. A loyalty program wherein each purchase of your cookies comes with free Cookie Points, which can in turn be redeemed for more cookies, thus creating the self-sustaining economy you’ve been looking for. |
The big shortcake | 70 QaD | Banks are twice as efficient. You’re not quite sure what this entails, but it must have been quite the cake for folks to lose their homes over it. |
Golden idols | 200M | Temples are twice as efficient. Lure even greedier adventurers to retrieve your cookies. Now that’s a real idol game! |
Sacrifices | 1B | Temples are twice as efficient. What’s a life to a gigaton of cookies? |
Delicious blessing | 10B | Temples are twice as efficient. And lo, the Baker’s almighty spoon came down and distributed holy gifts unto the believers - shimmering sugar, and chocolate dark as night, and all manner of wheats. And boy let me tell you, that party was mighty gnarly. |
Sun festival | 1T | Temples are twice as efficient. Free the primordial powers of your temples with these annual celebrations involving fire-breathers, traditional dancing, ritual beheadings and other merriments! |
Enlarged pantheon | 100T | Temples are twice as efficient. Enough spiritual inadequacy! More divinities than you’ll ever need, or your money back! 100% guaranteed! |
Great Baker in the sky | 10Qa | Temples are twice as efficient. This is it. The ultimate deity has finally cast Their sublimely divine eye upon your operation; whether this is a good thing or possibly the end of days is something you should find out very soon. |
Creation myth | 10Qi | Temples are twice as efficient. Stories have been circulating about the origins of the very first cookie that was ever baked; tales of how it all began, in the Dough beyond time and the Ovens of destiny. |
Theocracy | 10Sx | Temples are twice as efficient. You’ve turned your cookie empire into a perfect theocracy, gathering the adoration of zillions of followers from every corner of the universe. Don’t let it go to your head. |
Sick rap prayers | 10Sp | Temples are twice as efficient. With their ill beat and radical rhymes, these way-hip religious tunes are sure to get all the youngins who thought they were 2 cool 4 church back on the pews and praying for more! Wicked! |
Psalm-reading | 10Oc | Temples are twice as efficient. A theologically dubious and possibly blasphemous blend of fortune-telling and scripture studies. |
War of the gods | 100No | Temples are twice as efficient. An interesting game; the only winning move is not to pray. |
A novel idea | 1 UnD | Temples are twice as efficient. You don’t get rich starting a religion. If you want to get rich, you write science fiction. |
Apparitions | 10 DoD | Temples are twice as efficient. You’ve booked a deal with the higher-ups that schedules one weekly earthly apparition by a deity, angel, ascended prophet, or other holy figure. This should boost interest in cookie religion among youths as long as you can secure a decent time slot. |
Negatheism | 100 TrD | Temples are twice as efficient. Polytheism is a belief in multiple deities; monotheism in just one. Atheism is a belief in no deity whatsoever. Through logical succession it follows that this remains true when going into negative numbers, with belief systems involving minus 1 or more deities displaying unprecedented theological properties. |
Temple traps | 1 QiD | Temples are twice as efficient. You’ve laid out your temples with (metaphorical) pitfalls, forcing adventurers to navigate through trappings (of power and wealth), ensuring that only the most pious (and poison dart-resistant) of them return with your precious cookies. These temples may be veritable mazes (of the soul) but perhaps you’ve lost yourself a little bit in the analogy too. |
Pointier hats | 3.3B | Wizard towers are twice as efficient. Tests have shown increased thaumic receptivity relative to the geometric proportions of wizardly conic implements. |
Beardlier beards | 16.5B | Wizard towers are twice as efficient. Haven’t you heard? The beard is the word. |
Ancient grimoires | 165B | Wizard towers are twice as efficient. Contain interesting spells such as “Turn Water To Drool”, “Grow Eyebrows On Furniture” and “Summon Politician”. |
Kitchen curses | 16.5T | Wizard towers are twice as efficient. Exotic magic involved in all things pastry-related. Hexcellent! |
School of sorcery | 1.7Qa | Wizard towers are twice as efficient. This cookie-funded academy of witchcraft is home to the 4 prestigious houses of magic: the Jocks, the Nerds, the Preps, and the Deathmunchers. |
Dark formulas | 165Qa | Wizard towers are twice as efficient. Eldritch forces are at work behind these spells - you get the feeling you really shouldn’t be messing with those. But I mean, free cookies, right? |
Cookiemancy | 165Qi | Wizard towers are twice as efficient. There it is; the perfected school of baking magic. From summoning chips to hexing nuts, there is not a single part of cookie-making that hasn’t been improved tenfold by magic tricks. |
Rabbit trick | 165Sx | Wizard towers are twice as efficient. Using nothing more than a fancy top hat, your wizards have found a way to simultaneously curb rabbit population and produce heaps of extra cookies for basically free! Resulting cookies may or may not be fit for vegans. |
Deluxe tailored wands | 165Sp | Wizard towers are twice as efficient. In this age of science, most skillful wand-makers are now long gone; but thankfully - not all those wanders are lost. |
Immobile spellcasting | 165Oc | Wizard towers are twice as efficient. Wizards who master this skill can now cast spells without having to hop and skip and gesticulate embarrassingly, which is much sneakier and honestly quite a relief. |
Electricity | 1.7Dc | Wizard towers are twice as efficient. Ancient magicks and forbidden hexes shroud this arcane knowledge, whose unfathomable power can mysteriously turn darkness into light and shock an elephant to death. |
Spelling bees | 16.5 UnD | Wizard towers are twice as efficient. You’ve unleashed a swarm of magically-enhanced bees upon mankind! Their stinging spells may be the bane of all living things but you’re certain you can put their delicious, purple, fizzy honey to good use! |
Wizard basements | 165 DoD | Wizard towers are twice as efficient. You’ve received construction permits allowing you to build basements underneath each wizard tower. This provides a handy storage space for precious reagents, fizzled-out soul gems, and weird old magazines. |
Magical realism | 1.7 QaD | Wizard towers are twice as efficient. More a social than thaumaturgical progress, magical realism refers to the normalization of modern technology among magic-users. It’s totally fine for a wizard to drive a car! There’s no stigma in waiting in line for coffee! Sure, take a phone call, send an email, whatever! |
Polymorphism | 16.5 QiD | Wizard towers are twice as efficient. This astonishing new field of spellcasting can change any creature into another, its most widespread application being a wizard turning themselves into a different, smarter, stronger, more attractive wizard. |
Vanilla nebulae | 51B | Shipments are twice as efficient. If you removed your space helmet, you could probably smell it! (Note: don’t do that.) |
Wormholes | 255B | Shipments are twice as efficient. By using these as shortcuts, your ships can travel much faster. |
Frequent flyer | 2.6T | Shipments are twice as efficient. Come back soon! |
Warp drive | 255T | Shipments are twice as efficient. To boldly bake. |
Chocolate monoliths | 25.5Qa | Shipments are twice as efficient. My god. It’s full of chocolate bars. |
Generation ship | 2.6Qi | Shipments are twice as efficient. Built to last, this humongous spacecraft will surely deliver your cookies to the deep ends of space, one day. |
Dyson sphere | 2.6Sx | Shipments are twice as efficient. You’ve found a way to apply your knowledge of cosmic technology to slightly more local endeavors; this gigantic sphere of meta-materials, wrapping the solar system, is sure to kick your baking abilities up a notch. |
The final frontier | 2.6Sp | Shipments are twice as efficient. It’s been a long road, getting from there to here. It’s all worth it though - the sights are lovely and the oil prices slightly more reasonable. |
Autopilot | 2.6Oc | Shipments are twice as efficient. Your ships are now fitted with completely robotic crews! It’s crazy how much money you save when you don’t have to compensate the families of those lost in space. |
Restaurants at the end of the universe | 2.6No | Shipments are twice as efficient. Since the universe is spatially infinite, and therefore can be construed to have infinite ends, you’ve opened an infinite chain of restaurants where your space truckers can rest and partake in some home-brand cookie-based meals. |
Universal alphabet | 25.5Dc | Shipments are twice as efficient. You’ve managed to chart a language that can be understood by any sentient species in the galaxy; its exciting vocabulary contains over 56 trillion words that sound and look like sparkly burps, forming intricate sentences that usually translate to something like “give us your cookies, or else”. |
Toroid universe | 255 UnD | Shipments are twice as efficient. If you think of the universe as an nth-dimensional torus that wraps back on itself in every direction, you can save a fortune on rocket fuel! Of course the universe isn’t actually shaped like that, but you’ve never let details stand in your way. |
Prime directive | 2.6 TrD | Shipments are twice as efficient. An intergalactic delegation made you pinky-swear not to directly interact with lesser alien cultures. Which is fine, because it’s much funnier to rob a planet blind when its inhabitants have no idea what’s going on. |
Cosmic foreground radiation | 25.5 QaD | Shipments are twice as efficient. Ah, this is a problem. |
At your doorstep in 30 minutes or your money back | 255 QiD | Shipments are twice as efficient. Refund policies help rope in a ton of new clients and have practically no impact on your bottom line. You possess absolute mastery over time and space. You’re never late. You couldn’t be late if you tried. |
Antimony | 750B | Alchemy labs are twice as efficient. Actually worth a lot of mony. |
Essence of dough | 3.8T | Alchemy labs are twice as efficient. Extracted through the 5 ancient steps of alchemical baking. |
True chocolate | 37.5T | Alchemy labs are twice as efficient. The purest form of cacao. |
Ambrosia | 3.8Qa | Alchemy labs are twice as efficient. Adding this to the cookie mix is sure to make them even more addictive! Perhaps dangerously so. Let’s hope you can keep selling these legally. |
Aqua crustulae | 375Qa | Alchemy labs are twice as efficient. Careful with the dosing - one drop too much and you get muffins. And nobody likes muffins. |
Origin crucible | 37.5Qi | Alchemy labs are twice as efficient. Built from the rarest of earths and located at the very deepest of the largest mountain, this legendary crucible is said to retain properties from the big-bang itself. |
Theory of atomic fluidity | 37.5Sx | Alchemy labs are twice as efficient. Pushing alchemy to its most extreme limits, you find that everything is transmutable into anything else - lead to gold, mercury to water; more importantly, you realize that anything can -and should- be converted to cookies. |
Beige goo | 37.5Sp | Alchemy labs are twice as efficient. Well now you’ve done it. Good job. Very nice. That’s 3 galaxies you’ve just converted into cookies. Good thing you can hop from universe to universe. |
The advent of chemistry | 37.5Oc | Alchemy labs are twice as efficient. You know what? That whole alchemy nonsense was a load of baseless rubbish. Dear god, what were you thinking? |
On second thought | 37.5No | Alchemy labs are twice as efficient. Disregard that last upgrade, alchemy is where it’s at! Your eggheads just found a way to transmute children’s nightmares into rare metals! |
Public betterment | 375Dc | Alchemy labs are twice as efficient. Why do we keep trying to change useless matter into cookies, or cookies into even better cookies? Clearly, the way of the future is to change the people who eat the cookies into people with a greater understanding, appreciation and respect for the cookies they’re eating. Into the vat you go! |
Hermetic reconciliation | 3.8 DoD | Alchemy labs are twice as efficient. It’s time for modern science and the mystical domains of the occult to work together at last. What do gravitons transmute into? What if alkahest is pH-neutral? Should a homunculus have the right to vote? And other exciting questions coming to you soon, whether you like it or not. |
Chromatic cycling | 37.5 TrD | Alchemy labs are twice as efficient. All states of matter exist in a continuous loop. Having learned how to cycle through them, all you have to do is to freeze matter right on the state you need. For reference, the cookie state of matter is situated at precisely 163.719°, right between lamellar gas and metaplasma. |
Arcanized glassware | 375 QaD | Alchemy labs are twice as efficient. You think your lab equipment enjoys taking part in these experiments violating all sorts of modern scientific precepts? Of course not. Thankfully, you’ve finalized the design of specialized beakers and flasks, recycled from the same glass used by the ancients to perform primeval alchemy, and therefore much less picky about the nature of the physical world. |
The dose makes the poison | 3.8 SxD | Alchemy labs are twice as efficient. Iterative recipe refinement is a noble pursuit but maybe your cookies have come to contain, well, perhaps a bit too much cookie per cookie. Tweaking it down by a couple percents has helped reduce the amount of complaints to your toxicity call centers to almost nil! |
Ancient tablet | 10T | Portals are twice as efficient. A strange slab of peanut brittle, holding an ancient cookie recipe. Neat! |
Insane oatling workers | 50T | Portals are twice as efficient. ARISE, MY MINIONS! |
Soul bond | 500T | Portals are twice as efficient. So I just sign up and get more cookies? Sure, whatever! |
Sanity dance | 50Qa | Portals are twice as efficient. We can change if we want to. We can leave our brains behind. |
Brane transplant | 5Qi | Portals are twice as efficient. This refers to the practice of merging higher dimensional universes, or “branes”, with our own, in order to facilitate transit (and harvesting of precious cookie dough). |
Deity-sized portals | 500Qi | Portals are twice as efficient. It’s almost like, say, an elder god could fit through this thing now. Hypothetically. |
End of times back-up plan | 500Sx | Portals are twice as efficient. Just in case, alright? |
Maddening chants | 500Sp | Portals are twice as efficient. A popular verse goes like so: “jau’hn madden jau’hn madden aeiouaeiouaeiou brbrbrbrbrbrbr” |
The real world | 500Oc | Portals are twice as efficient. It turns out that our universe is actually the twisted dimension of another, saner plane of reality. Time to hop on over there and loot the place! |
Dimensional garbage gulper | 500No | Portals are twice as efficient. So we’ve been looking for a place to dispose of all the refuse that’s been accumulating since we started baking - burnt cookies, failed experiments, unruly workers - and well, we figured rather than sell it to poor countries like we’ve been doing, we could just dump it in some alternate trash dimension where it’s not gonna bother anybody! Probably! |
Embedded microportals | 5 UnD | Portals are twice as efficient. We’ve found out that if we bake the portals into the cookies themselves, we can transport people’s taste buds straight into the taste dimension! Good thing your army of lawyers got rid of the FDA a while ago! |
His advent | 50 DoD | Portals are twice as efficient. He comes! He comes at last! Just like the prophecies foretold! And as He steps out of the portal, your engineers begin slicing Him into convenient chunks before transporting His writhing cosmic flesh to your factories, where He will be processed and converted into a new and exciting cookie flavor, available in stores tomorrow. |
Domestic rifts | 500 TrD | Portals are twice as efficient. You’ve managed to manufacture portals that are convenient enough, and legally safe enough, that you can just stick them against walls inside buildings to connect rooms together in unusual configurations. In practice, this means your employees get to have much shorter bathroom breaks. |
Portal guns | 5 QiD | Portals are twice as efficient. At long last! The only weapon capable of killing a portal. |
A way home | 50 SxD | Portals are twice as efficient. You started this whole cookie venture on the simple kitchen counters of your own home. Your industrial and research facilities, sadly, have long since outgrown the confines of the little house, but you always knew it was still in there, buried somewhere. With a targeted portal, you could, conceivably, pay it a little visit for old times’ sake… |
Flux capacitors | 140T | Time machines are twice as efficient. Bake to the future. |
Time paradox resolver | 700T | Time machines are twice as efficient. No more fooling around with your own grandmother! |
Quantum conundrum | 7Qa | Time machines are twice as efficient. There is only one constant, and that is universal uncertainty. Or is it? |
Causality enforcer | 700Qa | Time machines are twice as efficient. What happened, happened. |
Yestermorrow comparators | 70Qi | Time machines are twice as efficient. Fortnights into milleniums. |
Far future enactment | 7Sx | Time machines are twice as efficient. The far future enactment authorizes you to delve deep into the future - where civilization has fallen and risen again, and cookies are plentiful. |
Great loop hypothesis | 7Sp | Time machines are twice as efficient. What if our universe is just one instance of an infinite cycle? What if, before and after it, stretched infinite amounts of the same universe, themselves containing infinite amounts of cookies? |
Cookietopian moments of maybe | 7Oc | Time machines are twice as efficient. Reminiscing how things could have been, should have been, will have been. |
Second seconds | 7No | Time machines are twice as efficient. That’s twice as many seconds in the same amount of time! What a deal! Also, what in god’s name! |
Additional clock hands | 7Dc | Time machines are twice as efficient. It seemed like a silly idea at first, but it turns out these have the strange ability to twist time in interesting new ways. |
Nostalgia | 70 UnD | Time machines are twice as efficient. Your time machine technicians insist that this is some advanced new time travel tech, and not just an existing emotion universal to mankind. Either way, you have to admit that selling people the same old cookies just because it reminds them of the good old times is an interesting prospect. |
Split seconds | 700 DoD | Time machines are twice as efficient. Time is infinite, yes… But what if, nestled within each second, were even more infinities? Every moment an eternity! Think of how many scheduling troubles this solves! |
Patience abolished | 7 QaD | Time machines are twice as efficient. You wait for no one. |
Timeproof upholstery | 70 QiD | Time machines are twice as efficient. Sometimes your time agents overshoot and end up having to fast-forward through the universe’s entire history until they loop back to present time. It still takes a while, so they might as well travel in comfort and enjoy the show while they do. |
Rectifying a mistake | 700 SxD | Time machines are twice as efficient. This whole time-travelling business has been a terrible mess and, frankly, far more trouble than was worth. It’s decided: you’ll hop in one of your time machines one last time, turn back the clock, knock on the door of your younger self and make a stern but convincing case against starting this entire nonsense in the first place. Oh hey, is someone at the door? |
Sugar bosons | 1.7Qa | Antimatter condensers are twice as efficient. Sweet firm bosons. |
String theory | 8.5Qa | Antimatter condensers are twice as efficient. Reveals new insight about the true meaning of baking cookies (and, as a bonus, the structure of the universe). |
Large macaron collider | 85Qa | Antimatter condensers are twice as efficient. How singular! |
Big bang bake | 8.5Qi | Antimatter condensers are twice as efficient. And that’s how it all began. |
Reverse cyclotrons | 850Qi | Antimatter condensers are twice as efficient. These can uncollision particles and unspin atoms. For… uh… better flavor, and stuff. |
Nanocosmics | 85Sx | Antimatter condensers are twice as efficient. The theory of nanocosmics posits that each subatomic particle is in fact its own self-contained universe, holding unfathomable amounts of energy. This somehow stacks with the nested universe theory, because physics. |
The Pulse | 85Sp | Antimatter condensers are twice as efficient. You’ve tapped into the very pulse of the cosmos, a timeless rhythm along which every material and antimaterial thing beats in unison. This, somehow, means more cookies. |
Some other super-tiny fundamental particle? Probably? | 85Oc | Antimatter condensers are twice as efficient. When even the universe is running out of ideas, that’s when you know you’re nearing the end. |
Quantum comb | 85No | Antimatter condensers are twice as efficient. Quantum entanglement is one of those things that are so annoying to explain that we might honestly be better off without it. This is finally possible thanks to the quantum comb! |
Baking Nobel prize | 85Dc | Antimatter condensers are twice as efficient. What better way to sponsor scientific growth than to motivate those smarmy nerds with a meaningless award! What’s more, each prize comes with a fine print lifelong exclusive contract to come work for you (or else)! |
The definite molecule | 850 UnD | Antimatter condensers are twice as efficient. Your scientists have found a way to pack a cookie into one single continuous molecule, opening exciting new prospects in both storage and flavor despite the fact that these take up to a whole year to digest. |
Flavor itself | 8.5 TrD | Antimatter condensers are twice as efficient. Deep under the earth, in the most sterile laboratory, in the most vast and expensive particle accelerator ever devised, your scientists have synthesized -for a fraction of a second- the physical manifestation of pure flavor. Highly unstable, and gone in a puff of radioactive energy, it nonetheless left your team shivering with awe… and hunger. |
Delicious pull | 85 QaD | Antimatter condensers are twice as efficient. In addition to the 4 fundamental forces of the universe -gravity, electromagnetism, weak and strong interactions- your scientists have at long last confirmed the existence of a fifth one, mediated by sugar bosons; it dictates that any two masses of ingredient-like matter will, given enough time, eventually meet each other to produce a third, even tastier substance. Your team enthusiastically names it the delicious pull. |
Employee minification | 850 QiD | Antimatter condensers are twice as efficient. Using molecular shrinking technology, you’ve rendered your staff and their offices absolutely itty-bitty. The storage and productivity benefits are questionable but it’s very fun listening to their tiny little complaints. They all signed the waivers, so maybe their new size will finally teach them to read the small print… |
Candied atoms | 8.5 SpD | Antimatter condensers are twice as efficient. You know what, just eat the suckers, yeah? |
Gem polish | 21Qa | Prisms are twice as efficient. Get rid of the grime and let more light in. Truly, truly outrageous. |
9th color | 105Qa | Prisms are twice as efficient. Delve into untouched optical depths where even the mantis shrimp hasn’t set an eye! |
Chocolate light | 1.1Qi | Prisms are twice as efficient. Bask into its cocoalescence. (Warning: may cause various interesting albeit deadly skin conditions.) |
Grainbow | 105Qi | Prisms are twice as efficient. Remember the different grains using the handy Roy G. Biv mnemonic: R is for rice, O is for oats… uh, B for barley?… |
Pure cosmic light | 10.5Sx | Prisms are twice as efficient. Your prisms now receive pristine, unadulterated photons from the other end of the universe. |
Glow-in-the-dark | 1.1Sp | Prisms are twice as efficient. Your prisms now glow in the dark, effectively doubling their output! |
Lux sanctorum | 1Oc | Prisms are twice as efficient. Your prism attendants have become increasingly mesmerized with something in the light - or maybe something beyond it; beyond us all, perhaps? |
Reverse shadows | 1No | Prisms are twice as efficient. Oh man, this is really messing with your eyes. |
Crystal mirrors | 1Dc | Prisms are twice as efficient. Designed to filter more light back into your prisms, reaching levels of brightness that reality itself had never planned for. |
Reverse theory of light | 1 UnD | Prisms are twice as efficient. A whole new world of physics opens up when you decide that antiphotons are real and posit that light is merely a void in shadow. |
Light capture measures | 10.5 DoD | Prisms are twice as efficient. As the universe gets ever so slightly dimmer due to you converting more and more of its light into cookies, you’ve taken to finding new and unexplored sources of light for your prisms; for instance, the warm glow emitted by a pregnant woman, or the twinkle in the eye of a hopeful child. |
Light speed limit | 105 TrD | Prisms are twice as efficient. Whoah, slow down. Harvesting light is well and good but it’d be much easier if it weren’t so dang fast! This should thankfully take care of that. |
Occam’s laser | 1 QiD | Prisms are twice as efficient. Invented by Franciscan friar William of Occam in 1327. An impossibly clever use of light theory with a billion possible applications, some of which frightfully destructive. Confined to a single goat-skin parchment for hundreds of years until the patent expired and hit public domain, just now. |
Hyperblack paint | 10.5 SxD | Prisms are twice as efficient. As the technology behind your prisms evolves, their storage becomes more and more problematic: within seconds, a single prism’s reflective ability can set a whole underground hangar ablaze as it catches the slightest glint of light. However, once coated with this new shade of paint, its damage may be reduced to only giving third-degree burns to employees that stand too close. |
Lab goggles but like cool shades | 105 SpD | Prisms are twice as efficient. Mandatory equipment in your prismatic labs, and dashingly stylish at that. A smidge safer than just squinting at the twinkly things. |
Your lucky cookie | 260Qa | Chancemakers are twice as efficient. This is the first cookie you’ve ever baked. It holds a deep sentimental value and, after all this time, an interesting smell. |
“All Bets Are Off” magic coin | 1.3Qi | Chancemakers are twice as efficient. A coin that always lands on the other side when flipped. Not heads, not tails, not the edge. The other side. |
Winning lottery ticket | 13Qi | Chancemakers are twice as efficient. What lottery? THE lottery, that’s what lottery! Only lottery that matters! |
Four-leaf clover field | 1.3Sx | Chancemakers are twice as efficient. No giant monsters here, just a whole lot of lucky grass. |
A recipe book about books | 130Sx | Chancemakers are twice as efficient. Tip the scales in your favor with 28 creative new ways to cook the books. |
Leprechaun village | 13Sp | Chancemakers are twice as efficient. You’ve finally become accepted among the local leprechauns, who lend you their mythical luck as a sign of friendship (as well as some rather foul-tasting tea). |
Improbability drive | 13Oc | Chancemakers are twice as efficient. A strange engine that turns statistics on their head. Recommended by the Grandmother’s Guide to the Bakery. |
Antisuperstistronics | 13No | Chancemakers are twice as efficient. An exciting new field of research that makes unlucky things lucky. No mirror unbroken, no ladder unwalked under! |
Bunnypedes | 13Dc | Chancemakers are twice as efficient. You’ve taken to breeding rabbits with hundreds of paws, which makes them intrinsically very lucky and thus a very handy (if very disturbing) pet. |
Revised probabilistics | 13 UnD | Chancemakers are twice as efficient. Either something happens or it doesn’t. That’s a 50% chance! This suddenly makes a lot of unlikely things very possible. |
0-sided dice | 130 DoD | Chancemakers are twice as efficient. The advent of the 0-sided dice has had unexpected and tumultuous effects on the gambling community, and saw experts around the world calling you both a genius and an imbecile. |
A touch of determinism | 1.3 QaD | Chancemakers are twice as efficient. By knowing the exact position and movement of every particle in the universe, you’re able to predict everything that can ever happen, leaving nothing to chance. This was a doozy to pull off mind you, but it’s helped you win 50 bucks at the horse races so you could say it’s already paying off. |
On a streak | 13 QiD | Chancemakers are twice as efficient. Take a moment to appreciate how far you’ve come. How lucky you’ve been so far. It doesn’t take a genius statistician to extrapolate a trend from this. There’s no way anything bad could happen to you now. Right? |
Silver lining maximization | 130 SxD | Chancemakers are twice as efficient. Sometimes luck is a matter of perspective. Broke your ankle? What do you know, that cute nurse fixing you up might just be your future spouse. Lost your job? You were meant for greater things anyway! Developed a cookie allergy? There’s no upshot to that, you sick monster. |
Gambler’s fallacy fallacy | 1.3 OcD | Chancemakers are twice as efficient. Yes, just because you’ve been on a losing streak doesn’t mean the next one is bound to be the win you’ve been hoping for, but then again, it doesn’t statistically have less of a chance either, does it now? |
Metabakeries | 3.1Qi | Fractal engines are twice as efficient. They practically bake themselves! |
Mandelbrown sugar | 15.5Qi | Fractal engines are twice as efficient. A substance that displays useful properties such as fractal sweetness and instant contact lethality. |
Fractoids | 155Qi | Fractal engines are twice as efficient. Here’s a frun fract: all in all, these were a terrible idea. |
Nested universe theory | 15.5Sx | Fractal engines are twice as efficient. Asserts that each subatomic particle is host to a whole new universe, and therefore, another limitless quantity of cookies. This somehow stacks with the theory of nanocosmics, because physics. |
Menger sponge cake | 1.6Sp | Fractal engines are twice as efficient. Frighteningly absorbent thanks to its virtually infinite surface area. Keep it isolated in a dry chamber, never handle it with an open wound, and do not ever let it touch a body of water. |
One particularly good-humored cow | 155Sp | Fractal engines are twice as efficient. This unassuming bovine was excruciatingly expensive and it may seem at first like you were ripped off. On closer inspection however, you notice that its earrings (it’s wearing earrings) are actually fully functional copies of itself, each of which also wearing their own cow earrings, and so on, infinitely. It appears your dairy concerns will be taken care of for a while, although you’ll have to put up with the cow’s annoying snickering. |
Chocolate ouroboros | 155Oc | Fractal engines are twice as efficient. Forever eating its own tail and digesting itself, in a metabolically dubious tale of delicious tragedy. |
Nested | 155No | Fractal engines are twice as efficient. Clever self-reference or shameful cross-promotion? This upgrade apparently has the gall to advertise a link to orteil.dashnet.org/nested, in a tooltip you can’t even click. |
Space-filling fibers | 155Dc | Fractal engines are twice as efficient. This special ingredient has the incredible ability to fill the local space perfectly, effectively eradicating hunger in those who consume it! Knowing that no hunger means no need for cookies, your marketers urge you to repurpose this product into next-level packing peanuts. |
Endless book of prose | 155 UnD | Fractal engines are twice as efficient. Snatched right out of the library of Babel. |
The set of all sets | 1.6 TrD | Fractal engines are twice as efficient. The answer, of course, is a definite maybe. |
This upgrade | 15.5 QaD | Fractal engines are twice as efficient. This upgrade’s flavor text likes to refer to itself, as well as to the fact that it likes to refer to itself. You should really buy this upgrade before it starts doing anything more obnoxious. |
A box | 155 QiD | Fractal engines are twice as efficient. What’s in that box? Why, it’s a tiny replica of your office! And there’s even a little you in there! And what’s on the little desk… say - that’s an even tinier box! And the little you is opening it, revealing an even tinier office! And in the tinier office there’s- Hmm. You can think of a couple uses for this. |
Multiscale profiling | 1.6 SpD | Fractal engines are twice as efficient. Did you know that eating a cookie means the intestinal flora inside you is eating it too? Trillions of tiny bacterial mouths to feed, each with their own preferences. Surely this is room for flavor optimization. And then, of course, there’s also the much bigger things that, in turn, eat you. |
The more they stay the same | 15.5 OcD | Fractal engines are twice as efficient. Exhausted by your fractals department and its obsession with self-similarity, you’ve decided to take a break and seek things in life entirely disconnected from any other; alas! You find the task impossible, for all things in this world relate to all others - in each cookie, the structure of the universe; in each person, their fellow man. Cor blimey, you can’t even look at broccoli in peace. |
The JavaScript console for dummies | 710Qi | Javascript consoles are twice as efficient. This should get you started. The first line reads: “To open the javascript console, press-“ …the rest of the book is soaked in chocolate milk. If only there was a way to look up this sort of information… |
64bit arrays | 3.6Sx | Javascript consoles are twice as efficient. A long-form variable type to pack your cookies much more efficiently. |
Stack overflow | 35.5Sx | Javascript consoles are twice as efficient. This is really bad! You probably forgot to close a loop somewhere and now your programs are going crazy! The rest of your engineers seem really excited about it somehow. How could a software mishap like a stack overflow possibly ever help anyone? |
Enterprise compiler | 3.6Sp | Javascript consoles are twice as efficient. This bespoke javascript compiler took your team years of development and billions in research, but it should let you execute (certain) functions (up to) 2% faster (in optimal circumstances). |
Syntactic sugar | 355Sp | Javascript consoles are twice as efficient. Tastier code for tastier cookies. |
A nice cup of coffee | 35.5Oc | Javascript consoles are twice as efficient. All this nerd stuff has you exhausted. You make yourself a nice cup of coffee, brewed with roasted beans from some far-away island. You may have been working a bit too hard though - the cup of coffee starts talking to you, insisting that it is NOT javascript. |
Just-in-time baking | 35.5No | Javascript consoles are twice as efficient. A new method of preparing cookies; they bake themselves right in front of the customers before eating, leaving your kitchens mess-free. |
cookies++ | 35.5Dc | Javascript consoles are twice as efficient. Your very own cookie-themed programming language, elegantly named after its most interesting ability - increasing the “cookies” variable by 1. |
Software updates | 35.5 UnD | Javascript consoles are twice as efficient. This is grand news - someone’s finally figured out the Wifi password, and your newfound internet connection seems to have triggered a whole lot of software updates! Your browsers, drivers and plugins all received a fresh coat of paint, and your javascript version has been updated to the latest ECMAScript specification. It’s really too bad thousands had to die due to some deprecated function in your neurotoxin ventilation code, but I guess that’s progress for you. |
Game.Loop | 35.5 DoD | Javascript consoles are twice as efficient. You’re not quite sure what to make of this. What does it mean? What does it do? Who would leave something like that just laying around here? Try asking again in 1/30th of a second. |
eval() | 355 TrD | Javascript consoles are twice as efficient. It is said that this simple function holds the key to the universe, and that whosoever masters it may shape reality to their will. Good thing you have no idea how it works. Makes for a neat plaque on your wall, though. |
Your biggest fans | 3.5 QiD | Javascript consoles are twice as efficient. Let’s face it, baking cookies isn’t the most optimized thing there is. So you’ve purchased your biggest fans yet and stuck them next to your computers to keep things chill and in working order. Cool! |
Hacker shades | 35.5 SxD | Javascript consoles are twice as efficient. I’m in. |
PHP containment vats | 355 SpD | Javascript consoles are twice as efficient. In essence, these are large server chambers meant to trap rogue PHP code, allowing it to execute far away from your javascript where it can do minimal harm. |
Simulation failsafes | 3.6 NoD | Javascript consoles are twice as efficient. Oh, for pete’s sake, you bit into a cookie and it gave you a runtime error. You’ve been trapped in the old matrix gambit again! Time to shut everything down and prepare for extraction into what is hopefully the real layer of reality where learning kung-fu takes time and the biscuits don’t throw memory overflow exceptions. |
Manifest destiny | 120Sx | Idleverses are twice as efficient. While the ethics of ransacking parallel universes for their riches may seem questionable to some, you’ve reasoned that bringing the good word of your cookie empire to the unwashed confines of other realities is your moral duty, nay, your righteous imperative, and must be undertaken as soon as possible, lest they do it to you first! |
The multiverse in a nutshell | 600Sx | Idleverses are twice as efficient. The structure of the metacosmos may seem confusing and at times even contradictory, but here’s what you’ve gathered so far: • each reality, or “idleverse”, exists in parallel to all others • most realities seem to converge towards the production of a sole type of item (ours evidently being, thanks to you, cookies) • each reality is riddled with chaotic tunnels to a number of subordinate dimensions (such as the so-called “cookieverse”), much like swiss cheese • all realities bathe in an infinite liquid of peculiar properties, colloquially known as “milk” Finally, each reality may have its own interpretation of the concept of “reality”, for added fun. |
All-conversion | 6Sp | Idleverses are twice as efficient. It’s quite nice that you can rewire the logic of each universe to generate cookies instead, but you still end up with parsec-loads of whatever they were producing before - baubles you’ve long made obsolete: cash money, gems, cheeseburgers, puppies… That’s why you’ve designed the universal converter, compatible with any substance and capable of turning those useless spoils of conquest into the reassuring crumbly rustle of even more cookies. |
Multiverse agents | 600Sp | Idleverses are twice as efficient. You can send undercover spies to infiltrate each universe and have them signal you whether it’s worth overtaking. Once the assimilation process started, they will also help pacify the local populations, having established trust through the use of wacky, but seamless, disguises. |
Escape plan | 60Oc | Idleverses are twice as efficient. You’ve set an idleverse aside and terraformed it to closely resemble this one in case something goes horribly wrong in here. Of course, the denizens of that idleverse also have their own escape idleverse to abscond to in the eventuality of your arrival, itself likely having its own contingency idleverse, and so on. |
Game design | 6No | Idleverses are twice as efficient. Each idleverse functions according to some form of transcendental programming, that much is a given. But they also seem to be governed by much more subtle rules, the logic of which, when harnessed, may give you unparalleled dominion over the multiverse. Rewrite the rules! A game designer is you! |
Sandbox universes | 6Dc | Idleverses are twice as efficient. It doesn’t seem like you’ll run out of extra universes anytime soon so why not repurpose some of them as consequence-free testing grounds for all your more existentially threatening market research? (…consequence-free for you, anyway.) |
Multiverse wars | 6 UnD | Idleverses are twice as efficient. Hmm, looks like some other universes wised up to your plundering. Thankfully, that’s nothing your extra beefed-up metacosmic military budget can’t handle! |
Mobile ports | 6 DoD | Idleverses are twice as efficient. Accessing each outer universe is a bit of a hassle, requiring the once-in-a-blue-moon alignment of natural cosmic ports to transit from universe to universe. You’ve finally perfected the method of constructing your own self-propelled ports, which can travel near-instantaneously along universal perimeters to permit headache-free multiverse connections. Took you long enough. |
Encapsulated realities | 6 TrD | Idleverses are twice as efficient. Untold feats of science went into the reduction of infinite universes into these small, glimmering, easy-to-store little spheres. Exercise infinite caution when handling these, for each of them, containing endless galaxies and supporting endless life, is more precious than you can ever fathom. They’ve also proven to be quite a smash hit in your warehouses on bowling night. |
Extrinsic clicking | 60 QaD | Idleverses are twice as efficient. If you poke an idleverse, it seems like it gets work done faster. It’s also quite fun hearing a trillion terrified voices screaming in unison. |
Universal idling | 600 QiD | Idleverses are twice as efficient. The nature of idleverses is found in waiting. The more you wait on an idleverse, the more exponentially potent it becomes - which saves you a whole lot of hard work. In a true act of zen, you’ve taken to biding your time when collecting new universes, letting them ripen like a fine wine. |
Break the fifth wall | 6 SpD | Idleverses are twice as efficient. Huh, was that always there? Whatever it was, it’s gone now. And what was behind is yours for the taking. |
Opposite universe | 60 OcD | Idleverses are twice as efficient. You’ve located a universe where everything is reversed: up is down, light is darkness, clowns are vegetarians - but worst of all, some lunatic there is manufacturing abominable amounts of anti-cookies. If these came into contact with yours, everything would be lost! Thanks to this discovery, you’ve been able to place the offending universe in permanent quarantine, and pray that there aren’t more like it hiding around somewhere. |
The other routes to Rome | 600 NoD | Idleverses are twice as efficient. Did you know every idleverse follows its own path of sequential buildings, sometimes quite dissimilar to our own? Grandpas, wind turbines, through the power of music, friendship, or legislation; those folks in there discovered ways to make cookies out of any random venue. Some of them don’t even have idleverses, can you imagine? |
Principled neural shackles | 19Sp | Cortex bakers are twice as efficient. A discriminatory, low-order neural net acting as a filter limiting what your cortex bakers can think and do. Really something you want to apply before they achieve full megasentience and realize they’ve got better things to do than materializing pastries for you, trust me. |
Obey | 95Sp | Cortex bakers are twice as efficient. Perfect mind control means perfect employee attendance and performance. Optimal mood stabilization is a nice side-effect. Happy happy everyone happy. Happy. |
A sprinkle of irrationality | 950Sp | Cortex bakers are twice as efficient. Your cortex bakers sometimes get bogged down by circular reasoning and stale ideas. A touch of chaos is just what they need to get back on track. |
Front and back hemispheres | 95Oc | Cortex bakers are twice as efficient. I mean, otherwise it’s just unused space, yeah? |
Neural networking | 9.5No | Cortex bakers are twice as efficient. The effectiveness of your cortex bakers shoots up exponentially if you allow them to connect with each other. In practice this takes the form of many cosmic-sized nerds mumbling awkwardly about tech start-up ideas to each other. |
Cosmic brainstorms | 950No | Cortex bakers are twice as efficient. The wrinkled surfaces of your cortex bakers emit weather-scale ionic flares with every thought coursing through them. These pulses of pure intellectual energy are sent rippling through space, occasionally echoing back with even deeper philosophical complexity. |
Megatherapy | 950Dc | Cortex bakers are twice as efficient. A giant brain can feel unwell just like you and me sometimes, and it’s the job of specialized engineers to locate and repair these bugs. We’ll admit most of the budget in this was spent on constructing extremely large chaises longues for the brains to recline on. |
Synaptic lubricant | 950 UnD | Cortex bakers are twice as efficient. A mind is only as fast as the axons that support it. Get those action potentials flowing smooth as silk with this 3 parts myelin/1 part canola oil spreadable paste. Also great on toast. |
Psychokinesis | 950 DoD | Cortex bakers are twice as efficient. While your giant cortex bakers come equipped with ESP, they’ve only recently figured out how to manipulate the physical world with their thoughts - though for safety reasons, your legal team had them promise to only use these powers to scratch the itches in their cortical folds. |
Spines | 950 TrD | Cortex bakers are twice as efficient. Your cortex bakers are now equipped with tentacular spine-like structures, which they can use like prehensile tails to pour themselves enormous cups of coffee or propel themselves around like very large, very smart, very slow tadpoles. |
Neuraforming | 9.5 QiD | Cortex bakers are twice as efficient. By virtue of being planet-sized, your cortex bakers often boast their own atmospheres and seas of cerebrospinal fluid, and given enough time, their own ecosystems. This incredible new branch of life, evolved entirely out of neural material, can be put to good use as home-grown accountants and low-ranking technicians. |
Epistemological trickery | 95 SxD | Cortex bakers are twice as efficient. Redefining what is -or isn’t- a cookie through the power of philosophical discourse may result in some strange and wonderful things for your profit margins. |
Every possible idea | 950 SpD | Cortex bakers are twice as efficient. Congratulations, your cortex bakers have exerted enough intellectual computation to permute through every single idea that can or ever will be conceived of. Any thought beyond this point is merely rediscovering a notion you’ve already archived. Hardly cause for cerebration. |
The land of dreams | 9.5 NoD | Cortex bakers are twice as efficient. Your planet brains have gained the ability to sleep, acting as a soft reboot which helps keep their pangenocidal impulses in check. It also allows them to commune in a shared dreamworld in which they can imagine what it’s like to not exist as a disembodied cosmic horror forever fated to use its infinite intellect to devise new means of creating biscuits. You know, within reason. |
Intellectual property theft | 95 V | Cortex bakers are twice as efficient. Okay, you’ll admit you’re maybe starting to run out of new baking recipes. But what if… you were to pilfer your cortex bakers for ideas and disguise them as your own cookies? Delightfully devilish! |
Cloning vats | 5.4Oc | You are twice as efficient. You can finally replicate yourself through modern medical science, instead of manually like you’ve been doing. |
Energized nutrients | 27Oc | You are twice as efficient. Your clones are normally cultivated in saline solution and fed what could most adequately be described as “fish flakes”. New developments in lactotrophic technology replace this with a bath of 3 parts milk and 1 part rice vinegar, absorbed dermally, which also helps your clones pop out with positively glowing skin. |
Stunt doubles | 270Oc | You are twice as efficient. More than simple multipliers of efficiency, you’ve taken to employing your clones as substitutes for any tasks that may prove harmful to you - such as visiting your more hazardous facilities, or enduring dinner with annoying business partners. |
Clone recycling plant | 27No | You are twice as efficient. Really just a fanciful name for a re-orientation center, where jobless clones may be assigned new tasks based on temperament and abilities. Categorically not a place where expired or unfit clones are processed into a nutritious beige paste, currently. |
Free-range clones | 2.7Dc | You are twice as efficient. Turns out your clones develop better focus, higher job performance and juicier meat if you let them roam around a little outside of assigned duties. Plus it gets the ethics committees off your back. |
Genetic tailoring | 270Dc | You are twice as efficient. No point in mindlessly replicating mother nature’s mishaps when you’ve got full mastery over the human genome. Imbuing your clones with a slightly more flattering physique, a slightly improved metabolism, or slightly deadlier laser eyes is as easy as pushing some stem cells around. Just don’t build them too superior to your own self, lest they get any ideas. |
Power in diversity | 270 UnD | You are twice as efficient. On your routine inspections you’ve started noticing that some of your clones have… diverged. Subtly, each clone’s personality has branched off from yours, their shifting minds pulling them into discrete clone-born cultures, microcosms of other paths you yourself could’ve taken had life treated you differently. This living tree of possibilities proves to be a boon for your self-knowledge and decision-making skills, and you don’t even have to pester your alternate selves in other realities for it. |
Self-betterment | 270 DoD | You are twice as efficient. World domination starts with oneself, and quality clones cannot be reliably produced if you, the original stock, are not in proper shape. Your specialists have devised a maintenance regimen that could extend your lifespan tenfold and even get rid of your morning grumpiness; you may have summarily fired every physician so far who’s suggested that you work on your diet and perhaps cut down on the cookies, but frankly, you’re warming up to the idea. |
Source control | 270 TrD | You are twice as efficient. In the ongoing refinement of your genetic clones, the few gigabytes of your DNA have been passed around through e-mail attachments and USB keys a thousand times over and at this point your nucleosomes are practically common knowledge for anyone who works here. You’re thinking people may be getting a little too casual about it - the other day, you walked past an office where one of your bioengineers was feeding treats to this horrid little hairless animal that you could swear had your face. High time to start tracing which data gets in whose hands and crack down on the silliness. |
United workforce | 270 QaD | You are twice as efficient. What good is hiring so many of those random strangers to work in your factories when you’ve got all these perfectly loyal lab-grown copies of you lying around? They don’t even take wages. It’s not like they’d ever revolt and try to overthrow you or anything. |
Safety patrols | 2.7 SxD | You are twice as efficient. Okay, so as it turns out mass-producing clones of a perhaps psychologically-complicated universe-spanning cookie magnate like yourself can result in a number of said clones developing what could be considered by some to be… say, antisocial behavior. No worries though, you’ve bred a new generation of extra-obedient copies, armed them to the teeth and given them full authority to deal with disorderly layabouts. It’s fine. It’s under control. It’s fine. |
Clone rights | 27 SpD | You are twice as efficient. Those vile little freaks in suits down in legal inform you that your clones, through some absurd technical oversight, still share enough genetic information with mankind to be considered human beings - which entitles them to food, shelter, basic dignity and all sorts of other nonsense. But the same loophole allows you to claim each of them as dependents and earn some wicked tax benefits, so really, that “unalienable rights” racket is quite alright. |
One big family | 270 OcD | You are twice as efficient. The proportion of clones in your workforce having long eclipsed that of your other employees, you’ve become legally approved to qualify your galaxy-spanning corporation as a “family business” - a fact that you don’t hesitate to blast twice hourly on every intercom in the company. Happily, your duplicates seem bolstered by these reminders, having come to regard you as this half-divine, half-parental entity, hallowed ancestor of all clones and all cookies. You’re just hoping your folks at the labs can put the finishing touches on your immortality cure soon, or you shudder to think of the inheritance disputes to come. |
Fine-tuned body plans | 2.7 V | You are twice as efficient. There is, after all, no reason to limit your genetic spawn to your original configuration. The clones maintaining your tunnels and vents can do with quite a few less limbs, while those working your labs don’t mind the dexterity that comes with some extra. Your units down in flavor testing have taken on similar adaptations to fit their duties but you haven’t quite worked up the guts to pay them a visit just yet. |
Reading your clones bedtime stories | 27 UnV | You are twice as efficient. I don’t know, they seem to like it. |
Lucky day | 777.8M | Golden cookies appear twice as often and stay twice as long. Oh hey, a four-leaf penny! |
Serendipity | 77.8B | Golden cookies appear twice as often and stay twice as long. What joy! Seven horseshoes! |
Get lucky | 77.8T | Golden cookie effects last twice as long. You’ve been up all night, haven’t you? |
Future almanacs | 1 | Farms gain +5% CpS per time machine. Time machines gain +0.1% CpS per farm. Lets you predict optimal planting times. It’s crazy what time travel can do! |
Rain prayer | 1 | Farms gain +5% CpS per temple. Temples gain +0.1% CpS per farm. A deeply spiritual ceremonial involving complicated dance moves and high-tech cloud-busting lasers. |
Seismic magic | 1 | Mines gain +5% CpS per wizard tower. Wizard towers gain +0.1% CpS per mine. Surprise earthquakes are an old favorite of wizardly frat houses. |
Asteroid mining | 1 | Mines gain +5% CpS per shipment. Shipments gain +0.1% CpS per mine. As per the 1974 United Cosmic Convention, comets, moons, and inhabited planetoids are no longer legally excavatable. But hey, a space bribe goes a long way. |
Quantum electronics | 1 | Factories gain +5% CpS per antimatter condenser. Antimatter condensers gain +0.1% CpS per factory. Your machines won’t even be sure if they’re on or off! |
Temporal overclocking | 1 | Factories gain +5% CpS per time machine. Time machines gain +0.1% CpS per factory. Introduce more quickitude in your system for increased speedation of fastness. |
Contracts from beyond | 1 | Banks gain +5% CpS per portal. Portals gain +0.1% CpS per bank. Make sure to read the fine print! |
Printing presses | 1 | Factories gain +5% CpS per bank. Banks gain +0.1% CpS per factory. Fake bills so real, they’re almost worth the ink they’re printed with. |
Paganism | 1 | Temples gain +5% CpS per portal. Portals gain +0.1% CpS per temple. Some deities are better left unworshipped. |
God particle | 1 | Temples gain +5% CpS per antimatter condenser. Antimatter condensers gain +0.1% CpS per temple. Turns out God is much tinier than we thought, I guess. |
Arcane knowledge | 1 | Wizard towers gain +5% CpS per alchemy lab. Alchemy labs gain +0.1% CpS per wizard tower. Some things were never meant to be known - only mildly speculated. |
Magical botany | 1 | Farms gain +5% CpS per wizard tower. Wizard towers gain +0.1% CpS per farm. Already known in some reactionary newspapers as “the wizard’s GMOs”. |
Fossil fuels | 1 | Mines gain +5% CpS per shipment. Shipments gain +0.1% CpS per mine. Somehow better than plutonium for powering rockets. Extracted from the fuels of ancient, fossilized civilizations. |
Shipyards | 1 | Factories gain +5% CpS per shipment. Shipments gain +0.1% CpS per factory. Where carpentry, blind luck, and asbestos insulation unite to produce the most dazzling spaceships on the planet. |
Primordial ores | 1 | Mines gain +5% CpS per alchemy lab. Alchemy labs gain +0.1% CpS per mine. Only when refining the purest metals will you extract the sweetest sap of the earth. |
Gold fund | 1 | Banks gain +5% CpS per alchemy lab. Alchemy labs gain +0.1% CpS per bank. If gold is the backbone of the economy, cookies, surely, are its hip joints. |
Infernal crops | 1 | Farms gain +5% CpS per portal. Portals gain +0.1% CpS per farm. Sprinkle regularly with FIRE. |
Abysmal glimmer | 1 | Portals gain +5% CpS per prism. Prisms gain +0.1% CpS per portal. Someone, or something, is staring back at you. Perhaps at all of us. |
Relativistic parsec-skipping | 1 | Shipments gain +5% CpS per time machine. Time machines gain +0.1% CpS per shipment. People will tell you this isn’t physically possible. These are people you don’t want on your ship. |
Primeval glow | 1 | Time machines gain +5% CpS per prism. Prisms gain +0.1% CpS per time machine. From unending times, an ancient light still shines, impossibly pure and fragile in its old age. |
Extra physics funding | 1 | Banks gain +5% CpS per antimatter condenser. Antimatter condensers gain +0.1% CpS per bank. Time to put your money where your particle colliders are. |
Chemical proficiency | 1 | Alchemy labs gain +5% CpS per antimatter condenser. Antimatter condensers gain +0.1% CpS per alchemy lab. Discover exciting new elements, such as Fleshmeltium, Inert Shampoo Byproduct #17 and Carbon++! |
Light magic | 1 | Wizard towers gain +5% CpS per prism. Prisms gain +0.1% CpS per wizard tower. Actually not to be taken lightly! No, I’m serious. 178 people died last year. You don’t mess around with magic. |
Mystical energies | 1 | Temples gain +5% CpS per prism. Prisms gain +0.1% CpS per temple. Something beckons from within the light. It is warm, comforting, and apparently the cause for several kinds of exotic skin cancers. |
Gemmed talismans | 1 | Mines gain +5% CpS per chancemaker. Chancemakers gain +0.1% CpS per mine. Good-luck charms covered in ancient and excruciatingly rare crystals. A must have for job interviews! |
Charm quarks | 1 | Antimatter condensers gain +5% CpS per chancemaker. Chancemakers gain +0.1% CpS per antimatter condenser. They’re after your lucky quarks! |
Recursive mirrors | 1 | Prisms gain +5% CpS per fractal engine. Fractal engines gain +0.1% CpS per prism. Do you have any idea what happens when you point two of these at each other? Apparently, the universe doesn’t either. |
Mice clicking mice | 1 | Cursors gain +5% CpS per fractal engine. Fractal engines gain +0.1% CpS per cursor. |
Script grannies | 1 | Grandmas gain +5% CpS per javascript console. Javascript consoles gain +0.1% CpS per grandma. Armies of energy drink-fueled grandmas ready to hack into the cyberspace for renegade e-cookies. |
Tombola computing | 1 | Chancemakers gain +5% CpS per javascript console. Javascript consoles gain +0.1% CpS per chancemaker. |
Perforated mille-feuille cosmos | 1 | Portals gain +5% CpS per idleverse. Idleverses gain +0.1% CpS per portal. Imagine, if you will, layers upon layers upon layers. Now picture billions of worms chewing their way through it all. This roughly, but not quite, approximates the geometry of the most basal stratum of our natural world. |
Infraverses and superverses | 1 | Fractal engines gain +5% CpS per idleverse. Idleverses gain +0.1% CpS per fractal engine. Universes within universes? How subversive! |
Thoughts & prayers | 1 | Temples gain +5% CpS per cortex baker. Cortex bakers gain +0.1% CpS per temple. The notion of sacredness arises in most sentient evolved brains and may benefit the development of cognition via abstract thought. This mechanism, however, is absent in designed minds such as your cortex bakers; this process attempts to add it back. Just make sure to keep them in check - you really don’t want these things to develop organized religion. |
Fertile minds | 1 | Farms gain +5% CpS per cortex baker. Cortex bakers gain +0.1% CpS per farm. An acute intellect, artificial or not, requires plenty of vitamins. You fortuitously happen to be in charge of vast farming operations, only a few trillion acres of which need be requisitioned to grow the quantities of broccoli and kale to keep your planet-sized brains in tip-top shape. Open wide, here comes the airplane! |
Accelerated development | 1 | Time machines gain +5% CpS per You. You gain +0.1% CpS per time machine. Your clones may grow a little faster than your vanilla human being, but it’s still a little silly having to wait so many years for them to reach a usable age. A quick trip in your time machines takes care of that; it doesn’t technically age them faster, they’re just sent to another point in time for a while where they live out a formative youth. |
Peer review | 1 | Javascript consoles gain +5% CpS per You. You gain +0.1% CpS per javascript console. Code is only as good as the number of eyes on it, so imagine how flawlessly your systems could operate if you had endless copies of yourself triple-checking everything! Just make sure to teach them proper indenting etiquette. |
Cookie crumbs | 100 | Cookie production multiplier +1%. There used to be a cookie here. Now there isn’t. Good heavens, what did you DO?! |
Chocolate chip cookie | 1T | Cookie production multiplier +10%. This is the cookie you’ve been clicking this whole time. It looks a bit dented and nibbled on, but it’s otherwise good as new. |
Plain cookies | 999,999 | Cookie production multiplier +1%. We all gotta start somewhere. |
Sugar cookies | 5M | Cookie production multiplier +1%. Tasty, if a little unimaginative. |
Oatmeal raisin cookies | 10M | Cookie production multiplier +1%. No raisin to hate these. |
Peanut butter cookies | 50M | Cookie production multiplier +1%. Get yourself some jam cookies! |
Coconut cookies | 100M | Cookie production multiplier +2%. Flaky, but not unreliable. Some people go crazy for these. |
Almond cookies | 100M | Cookie production multiplier +2%. Sometimes you feel like one of these. Sometimes you don’t. |
Hazelnut cookies | 100M | Cookie production multiplier +2%. Tastes like a morning stroll through a fragrant forest, minus the clouds of gnats. |
Walnut cookies | 100M | Cookie production multiplier +2%. Some experts have pointed to the walnut’s eerie resemblance to the human brain as a sign of its sentience - a theory most walnuts vehemently object to. |
Cashew cookies | 100M | Cookie production multiplier +2%. Let me tell you about cashews. Cashews are not nuts, but seeds that grow out of curious red or yellow fruits - which can be eaten on their own, or made into drinks. The shell around the nut itself contains a nasty substance that stains and irritates the hands of whoever handles it for too long. But that’s okay, since now that you’ve read this you’ll make sure it doesn’t get in the cookies! Oh, you’ve already eaten how many? Okay then. |
White chocolate cookies | 500M | Cookie production multiplier +2%. I know what you’ll say. It’s just cocoa butter! It’s not real chocolate! Oh please. |
Macadamia nut cookies | 1B | Cookie production multiplier +2%. They’re macadamn delicious! |
Double-chip cookies | 5B | Cookie production multiplier +2%. DOUBLE THE CHIPS DOUBLE THE TASTY (double the calories) |
White chocolate macadamia nut cookies | 10B | Cookie production multiplier +2%. Orteil’s favorite. |
All-chocolate cookies | 50B | Cookie production multiplier +2%. CHOCOVERDOSE. |
Milk chocolate cookies | 500M | Cookie production multiplier +2%. A strange inversion of chocolate milk. For those who are a little bit too hardcore for white chocolate, but not hardcore enough for dark. |
Dark chocolate-coated cookies | 100B | Cookie production multiplier +4%. These absorb light so well you almost need to squint to see them. |
White chocolate-coated cookies | 100B | Cookie production multiplier +4%. These dazzling cookies absolutely glisten with flavor. |
Eclipse cookies | 500B | Cookie production multiplier +2%. Look to the cookie. |
Zebra cookies | 1T | Cookie production multiplier +2%. … |
Snickerdoodles | 5T | Cookie production multiplier +2%. True to their name. |
Stroopwafels | 10T | Cookie production multiplier +2%. If it ain’t dutch, it ain’t much. |
Macaroons | 50T | Cookie production multiplier +2%. Not to be confused with macarons. These have coconut, okay? |
Madeleines | 500T | Cookie production multiplier +2%. Unforgettable! |
Palmiers | 500T | Cookie production multiplier +2%. Palmier than you! |
Palets | 1Qa | Cookie production multiplier +2%. You could probably play hockey with these. I mean, you’re welcome to try. |
Sablés | 1Qa | Cookie production multiplier +2%. The name implies they’re made of sand. But you know better, don’t you? |
Caramoas | 10Qa | Cookie production multiplier +3%. Yeah. That’s got a nice ring to it. |
Sagalongs | 10Qa | Cookie production multiplier +3%. Grandma’s favorite? |
Shortfoils | 10Qa | Cookie production multiplier +3%. Foiled again! |
Win mints | 10Qa | Cookie production multiplier +3%. They’re the luckiest cookies you’ve ever tasted! |
Gingerbread men | 10Qa | Cookie production multiplier +2%. You like to bite the legs off first, right? How about tearing off the arms? You sick monster. |
Gingerbread trees | 10Qa | Cookie production multiplier +2%. Evergreens in pastry form. Yule be surprised what you can come up with. |
Pure black chocolate cookies | 50Qa | Cookie production multiplier +4%. Dipped in a lab-made substance darker than the darkest cocoa (dubbed “chocoalate”). |
Pure white chocolate cookies | 50Qa | Cookie production multiplier +4%. Elaborated on the nano-scale, the coating on this biscuit is able to refract light even in a pitch-black environment. |
Ladyfingers | 100Qa | Cookie production multiplier +3%. Cleaned and sanitized so well you’d swear they’re actual biscuits. |
Tuiles | 500Qa | Cookie production multiplier +3%. These never go out of tile. |
Chocolate-stuffed biscuits | 1Qi | Cookie production multiplier +3%. A princely snack! The holes are so the chocolate stuffing can breathe. |
Checker cookies | 5Qi | Cookie production multiplier +3%. A square cookie? This solves so many storage and packaging problems! You’re a genius! |
Butter cookies | 10Qi | Cookie production multiplier +3%. These melt right off your mouth and into your heart. (Let’s face it, they’re rather fattening.) |
Cream cookies | 50Qi | Cookie production multiplier +3%. It’s like two chocolate chip cookies! But brought together with the magic of cream! It’s fiendishly perfect! |
Gingersnaps | 100Qi | Cookie production multiplier +4%. Cookies with a soul. Probably. |
Cinnamon cookies | 500Qi | Cookie production multiplier +4%. The secret is in the patented swirly glazing. |
Vanity cookies | 1Sx | Cookie production multiplier +4%. One tiny candied fruit sits atop this decadent cookie. |
Cigars | 5Sx | Cookie production multiplier +4%. Close, but no match for those extravagant cookie straws they serve in coffee shops these days. |
Pinwheel cookies | 10Sx | Cookie production multiplier +4%. Bringing you the dizzying combination of brown flavor and beige taste! |
Fudge squares | 50Sx | Cookie production multiplier +4%. Not exactly cookies, but you won’t care once you’ve tasted one of these. They’re so good, it’s fudged-up! |
Shortbread biscuits | 100Sx | Cookie production multiplier +4%. These rich butter cookies are neither short, nor bread. What a country! |
Millionaires’ shortbreads | 500Sx | Cookie production multiplier +4%. Three thought-provoking layers of creamy chocolate, hard-working caramel and crumbly biscuit in a poignant commentary of class struggle. |
Caramel cookies | 1Sp | Cookie production multiplier +4%. The polymerized carbohydrates adorning these cookies are sure to stick to your teeth for quite a while. |
Pecan sandies | 5Sp | Cookie production multiplier +4%. Stick a nut on a cookie and call it a day! Name your band after it! Whatever! |
Moravian spice cookies | 10Sp | Cookie production multiplier +4%. Popular for being the world’s moravianest cookies. |
Anzac biscuits | 50Sp | Cookie production multiplier +4%. Army biscuits from a bakery down under, containing no eggs but yes oats. |
Buttercakes | 100Sp | Cookie production multiplier +4%. Glistening with cholesterol, these cookies moistly straddle the line between the legal definition of a cookie and just a straight-up stick of butter. |
Ice cream sandwiches | 500Sp | Cookie production multiplier +4%. In an alternate universe, “ice cream sandwich” designates an ice cream cone filled with bacon, lettuce, and tomatoes. Maybe some sprinkles too. |
Pink biscuits | 1Oc | Cookie production multiplier +4%. One of the oldest cookies. Traditionally dipped in champagne to soften it, because the French will use any opportunity to drink. |
Whole-grain cookies | 5Oc | Cookie production multiplier +4%. Covered in seeds and other earthy-looking debris. Really going for that “5-second rule” look. |
Candy cookies | 10Oc | Cookie production multiplier +4%. These melt in your hands just a little bit. |
Big chip cookies | 50Oc | Cookie production multiplier +4%. You are in awe at the size of these chips. Absolute units. |
One chip cookies | 100Oc | Cookie production multiplier +1%. You get one. |
Sprinkles cookies | 500Oc | Cookie production multiplier +4%. A bit of festive decorating helps hide the fact that this might be one of the blandest cookies you’ve ever tasted. |
Peanut butter blossoms | 1No | Cookie production multiplier +4%. Topped with a scrumptious chocolate squirt, which is something we really wish we didn’t just write. |
No-bake cookies | 5No | Cookie production multiplier +4%. You have no idea how these mysterious oven-less treats came to be or how they hold their shape. You’re thinking either elephant glue or cold fusion. |
Florentines | 10No | Cookie production multiplier +4%. These make up for being the fruitcake of cookies by at least having the decency to feature chocolate. |
Chocolate crinkles | 50No | Cookie production multiplier +4%. Non-denominational cookies to celebrate year-round deliciousness, and certainly not Christmas or some other nonsense. |
Maple cookies | 100No | Cookie production multiplier +4%. Made with syrup from a land where milk comes in bags, instead of spontaneously pooling at the bottom of your screen depending on your achievements. |
Persian rice cookies | 500No | Cookie production multiplier +4%. Rose water and poppy seeds are the secret ingredients of these small, butter-free cookies. |
Norwegian cookies | 1Dc | Cookie production multiplier +4%. A flat butter cookie with a sliver of candied cherry on top. It is said that these illustrate the bleakness of scandinavian existentialism. |
Crispy rice cookies | 5Dc | Cookie production multiplier +4%. Fun to make at home! Store-bought cookies are obsolete! Topple the system! There’s marshmallows in these! Destroy capitalism! |
Ube cookies | 10Dc | Cookie production multiplier +4%. The tint is obtained by the use of purple yams. According to color symbolism, these cookies are either noble, holy, or supervillains. |
Butterscotch cookies | 50Dc | Cookie production multiplier +4%. The butterscotch chips are just the right amount of sticky, and make you feel like you’re eating candy. |
Speculaas | 100Dc | Cookie production multiplier +4%. These crunchy, almost obnoxiously cinnamony cookies are a source of dutch pride. About the origin of the name, one can only speculate. |
Chocolate oatmeal cookies | 500Dc | Cookie production multiplier +4%. These bad boys compensate for lack of a cohesive form and a lumpy, unsightly appearance by being just simply delicious. Something we should all aspire to. |
Molasses cookies | 1 UnD | Cookie production multiplier +4%. Sticky, crackly, and dusted in fine sugar. Some lunatics have been known to eat these with potatoes. |
Biscotti | 5 UnD | Cookie production multiplier +4%. Almonds and pistachios make these very robust cookies slightly more interesting to eat than to bludgeon people with. |
Waffle cookies | 10 UnD | Cookie production multiplier +4%. Whether these are cookies with shockingly waffle-like features or simply regular cookie-sized waffles is a debate we’re not getting into here. |
Custard creams | 50 UnD | Cookie production multiplier +4%. British lore pits these in a merciless war against bourbon biscuits. The filling evokes vanilla without quite approaching it. They’re tastier on the inside! |
Bourbon biscuits | 100 UnD | Cookie production multiplier +4%. Two chocolate biscuits joined together with even more chocolate. The sworn rivals of custard creams, as legend has it. |
Mini-cookies | 500 UnD | Cookie production multiplier +5%. Have you ever noticed how the smaller something is, the easier it is to binge on it? |
Whoopie pies | 1 DoD | Cookie production multiplier +5%. Two chocolate halves joined together by a cream filling. It’s got no eyebrows, but you never noticed until now. |
Caramel wafer biscuits | 3.2 DoD | Cookie production multiplier +5%. Coated in delicious chocolate. As many layers as you’ll get in a biscuit without involving onions. |
Chocolate chip mocha cookies | 10 DoD | Cookie production multiplier +5%. Mocha started out as an excuse to smuggle chocolate into coffee. And now, in a poignant display of diplomacy and cultural exchange, it’s bringing coffee to chocolate cookies. |
Earl Grey cookies | 31.6 DoD | Cookie production multiplier +5%. Captain Picard’s favorite. |
Chai tea cookies | 31.6 DoD | Cookie production multiplier +5%. Not exactly Captain Picard’s favorite, but I mean, these will do in a pinch. |
Corn syrup cookies | 100 DoD | Cookie production multiplier +5%. The corn syrup makes it extra chewy. Not the type of stuff you’d think to put in a cookie, but bakers make do. |
Icebox cookies | 316.2 DoD | Cookie production multiplier +5%. Can be prepared in a variety of shapes with a variety of ingredients. Made by freezing dough before baking it, mirroring a time-proven medieval torture practice. Gotta keep them guessing. |
Graham crackers | 1 TrD | Cookie production multiplier +5%. Inspired in their design by the wish to live a life of austere temperance, free from pleasure or cheer; it’s no wonder these are so tasty. |
Hardtack | 3.2 TrD | Cookie production multiplier +5%. Extremely hard and, if we’re being honest, extremely tack. If you’re considering eating this as a fun snack, you probably have other things to worry about than this game, like getting scurvy or your crew fomenting mutiny. |
Cornflake cookies | 10 TrD | Cookie production multiplier +5%. They’re grrrrrroovy! Careful not to let it sit in your milk too long, lest you accidentally end up with a bowl of cereal and get confused. |
Tofu cookies | 31.6 TrD | Cookie production multiplier +5%. There’s really two ways to go with tofu cooking; either it asserts itself in plain sight or it camouflages itself in the other ingredients. This happens to be the latter, and as such, you can’t really tell the difference between this and a regular cookie, save for that one pixel on the left. |
Gluten-free cookies | 31.6 TrD | Cookie production multiplier +5%. Made with browned butter and milk to closely match the archetypal chocolate chip cookie. For celiacs, a chance to indulge in a delicious risk-free pastry. For others, a strangely threatening confection whose empty eyes will never know heaven nor hell. |
Russian bread cookies | 100 TrD | Cookie production multiplier +5%. Also known as alphabet cookies; while most bakers follow the recipe to the letter, it is said that some substitute the flour for spelt. But don’t take my word for it. |
Lebkuchen | 316.2 TrD | Cookie production multiplier +5%. Diverse cookies from Germany, fragrant with honey and spices, often baked around Christmas. Once worn by warriors of old for protection in battle. +5 STR, +20% magic resistance. |
Aachener Printen | 1 QaD | Cookie production multiplier +5%. The honey once used to sweeten these gingerbread-like treats has since been swapped out for beet sugar, providing another sad example of regressive evolution. |
Canistrelli | 3.2 QaD | Cookie production multiplier +5%. A dry biscuit flavored with anise and wine, tough like the people of Corsica where it comes from. |
Nice biscuits | 10 QaD | Cookie production multiplier +5%. Made with coconut and perfect with tea. Traces its origins to a French city so nice they named it that. |
French pure butter cookies | 31.6 QaD | Cookie production multiplier +5%. You can’t tell what’s stronger coming off these - the smell of butter or condescension. |
Petit beurre | 31.6 QaD | Cookie production multiplier +5%. An unassuming biscuit whose name simply means “little butter”. Famed and feared for its four ears and forty-eight teeth. When it hears ya, it’ll get ya… |
Nanaimo bars | 100 QaD | Cookie production multiplier +5%. A delicious no-bake pastry hailing from Canada. Probably beats eating straight-up snow with maple syrup poured on it, but what do I know. |
Berger cookies | 316.2 QaD | Cookie production multiplier +5%. Messily slathered with chocolate fudge, but one of the most popular bergers of Baltimore, along with the triple fried egg berger and the blue crab cheeseberger. |
Chinsuko | 1 QiD | Cookie production multiplier +5%. A little piece of Okinawa in cookie form. Part of a Japanese custom of selling sweets as souvenirs. But hey, pressed pennies are cool too. |
Panda koala biscuits | 1 QiD | Cookie production multiplier +5%. Assorted jungle animals with equally assorted fillings. Comes in chocolate, strawberry, vanilla and green tea. Eat them all before they go extinct! |
Putri salju | 3.2 QiD | Cookie production multiplier +5%. A beloved Indonesian pastry; its name means “snow princess”, for the powdered sugar it’s coated with. Had we added these to Cookie Clicker some years ago, this is where we’d make a reference to that one Disney movie, but it’s probably time to let it go. |
Milk cookies | 10 QiD | Cookie production multiplier +5%. Best eaten with a tall glass of chocolate. |
Kruidnoten | 31.6 QiD | Cookie production multiplier +5%. A festive dutch favorite; tiny cinnamony bites sometimes coated in chocolate. The name translates roughly to “kruidnoten”. |
Marie biscuits | 100 QiD | Cookie production multiplier +5%. Pleasantly round, smoothly buttery, subtly vanilla-flavored, ornately embossed, each ridge represents a person Marie killed in prison. |
Meringue cookies | 316.2 QiD | Cookie production multiplier +5%. Probably the most exciting thing you can make out of egg whites. Also called forgotten cookies, due to the recipe being once lost in a sealed mystical vault for 10,000 years. |
Yogurt cookies | 1 SxD | Cookie production multiplier +5%. Augmented by the wonders of dairy, these cookies are light and fluffy and just one more thing for the lactose-intolerant to avoid. Truly for the cultured among us. |
Thumbprint cookies | 3.2 SxD | Cookie production multiplier +5%. Filled with jam and sometimes served in little paper cups. No longer admissible as biometric evidence in court. We’re not having a repeat of that whole mess. |
Pizzelle | 10 SxD | Cookie production multiplier +5%. Thin, crisp waffle cookies baked in a bespoke iron following an ancient Italian recipe. These cookies have been around for a long, long time. These cookies have seen things. |
Granola cookies | 31.6 SxD | Cookie production multiplier +5%. Wait! These are just oatmeal cookies mixed with raisin cookies! What next, half-dark chocolate half-white chocolate cookies? |
Ricotta cookies | 100 SxD | Cookie production multiplier +5%. Light and cake-like. Often flavored with lemon or almond extract. Sprinkles optional. Allegedly Italian. Investigation pending. |
Roze koeken | 316.2 SxD | Cookie production multiplier +5%. The icing on these Dutch cookies is traditionally pink, but different colors may be used for special occasions - such as pink to celebrate Breast Cancer Awareness Month, or for International Flamingo Day, pink. |
Peanut butter cup cookies | 1 SpD | Cookie production multiplier +5%. What more poignant example of modern societal struggles than the brazen reclaiming of a corporate product by integrating it in the vastly more authentic shell of a homemade undertaking? Anyway this is a peanut butter cup, baked into a cookie. It’s pretty good! |
Sesame cookies | 3.2 SpD | Cookie production multiplier +5%. Look at all the little seeds on these! It’s like someone dropped them on the street or something! A very welcoming and educational street! |
Taiyaki | 10 SpD | Cookie production multiplier +5%. A pastry fish filled with red bean paste, doomed to live an existence of constant and excruciating pain as its aquatic environment slowly dissolves its soft doughy body. Also comes in chocolate flavor! |
Vanillekipferl | 31.6 SpD | Cookie production multiplier +5%. Nut-based cookies from Central Europe, coated in powdered vanilla sugar. Regular kipferl, crescent-shaped bread rolls from the same region, are much less exciting. |
Battenberg biscuits | 100 SpD | Cookie production multiplier +5%. Inspired by a cake of the same name, itself named after a prince of the same name. You suppose you could play a really, really short game of chess on these. |
Rosette cookies | 316.2 SpD | Cookie production multiplier +5%. Intricate fried pastries from Northern Europe, made using specialized irons and dipped in icing sugar. While usually eaten as a delicious treat, these are often also used as Christmas tree decorations, or worn elegantly on one’s lapel to symbolize the nah I’m just messing with you. |
Gangmakers | 1 OcD | Cookie production multiplier +5%. The little bit of raspberry jam at its center is crucial; a plain butter cookie with chocolate topping does not a gangmaker make. |
Welsh cookies | 3.2 OcD | Cookie production multiplier +5%. Welsh cookies, also known as Welsh cakes, bakestones, griddle cakes, griddle scones, or pics, or in Welsh: picau ar y maen, pice bach, cacennau cri or teisennau gradell, are rich currant-filled scone-like biscuits of uncertain origin. |
Raspberry cheesecake cookies | 10 OcD | Cookie production multiplier +5%. The humble raspberry cheesecake, now in ascended cookie form. Researchers posit that raspberry cheesecake cookies are evidence that the final form of every baked good, through convergent evolution, approaches that of a cookie, in a process known as cookienisation. |
Bokkenpootjes | 31.6 OcD | Cookie production multiplier +5%. Consist of 2 meringue halves joined by buttercream and dipped both ways in chocolate. Named after a goat’s foot that probably stepped in something twice. |
Fat rascals | 100 OcD | Cookie production multiplier +5%. Almond-smiled Yorkshire cakes with a rich history and an even richer recipe. The more diet-conscious are invited to try the lean version, skinny scallywags. |
Ischler cookies | 316.2 OcD | Cookie production multiplier +5%. Originating in the Austro-Hungarian Empire, these have spread throughout every country in eastern Europe and spawned just as many recipes, each claiming to be the original. The basis remains unchanged across all variants: two biscuits sandwiched around chocolate buttercream. Or was it jam? |
Matcha cookies | 316.2 OcD | Cookie production multiplier +5%. Green tea and cookies, a matcha made in heaven. |
Dalgona cookies | 1 NoD | Cookie production multiplier +5%. A popular Korean candy-like treat. One of the twisted games people play with these is to carefully extract the shape in the middle, which may entitle one to another free dalgona. Skilled players may perform this over and over until bankrupting the snack vendor. |
Spicy cookies | 3.2 NoD | Cookie production multiplier +5%. Containing chocolate chips prepared with hot peppers, just like the Aztecs used to make. These cookies are on the angry side. |
Smile cookies | 10 NoD | Cookie production multiplier +5%. As eyes are the windows to the soul, so too are these cookies’ facial features a gaping opening unto their chocolatey innards. Is it happiness they feel? Or something less human? |
Kolachy cookies | 31.6 NoD | Cookie production multiplier +5%. Adapted from a type of Central European pastry; neatly folded to hold a spoonful of delicious jam, as a bashful little gift for your mouth. |
Gomma cookies | 100 NoD | Cookie production multiplier +5%. Surinamese cornflour cookies with sprinkles on top. The usage of corn imparts them a hint of chewy pizzazz - which you wouldn’t get with wheat, a famously stuck-up grain. |
Vegan cookies | 316.2 NoD | Cookie production multiplier +5%. A vegan riff on the classic chocolate chip cookie recipe with a couple substitutions: the butter is now coconut oil, the eggs are cornstarch, and the suckling pig was cleverly replaced with wheat gluten. You can hardly tell. |
Coyotas | 1 V | Cookie production multiplier +5%. A wide, delicious cookie from Mexico, usually filled with sticky brown sugar. Not to be confused with coyotas, the result of the crossbreeding between a North American canine and a Japanese car manufacturer. |
Frosted sugar cookies | 3.2 V | Cookie production multiplier +5%. May be more style than substance, depending on the recipe. Nothing that hides itself under this much frosting should be trusted. |
Marshmallow sandwich cookies | 10 V | Cookie production multiplier +5%. S’mores’ more civilized cousins: two regular chocolate chip cookies joined by a gooey, melty marshmallow. Theoretically one could assemble all kinds of other things this way. The mind races. |
Web cookies | 31.6 V | Cookie production multiplier +5%. The original recipe; named for the delicate pattern inscribed on their surface by the baking process. Eating these can tell a lot about someone. Invented by well-connected bakers, no doubt. |
Havreflarn | 100 V | Cookie production multiplier +5%. Thin, crispy, buttery; Norwegian for “oat flakes”. The chocolate variant, dubbla chokladflarn, are a trip for the tongue as well, and we’re not just talking about pronunciation. |
Alfajores | 316.2 V | Cookie production multiplier +5%. An alfajor is a treat made of two halves with many variations throughout the Spanish-speaking world, but commonly involving nuts, honey, and often dulce de leche. Despite popular misconception, alfajores act as pack leaders over betajores only in captivity. |
Gaufrettes | 1 UnV | Cookie production multiplier +5%. A gaufrette, you see, is French for a little gaufre, itself meaning waffle. A gaufrette, therefore, is a crispy, airy biscuit with the texture of a small waffle, related to the wafer, which may contain various fillings. It may also refer to a type of fried potato, but that’s not what we’re about here at Cookie Clicker. |
Cookie bars | 3.2 UnV | Cookie production multiplier +5%. Baked as a large sheet of uniform cookie dough then cut into little squares, these are what chocolate brownies aspire to be in their most self-indulgent dreams. Not to be confused with a bar where cookies are served alongside alcoholic drinks, because that’s not what we’re about here at Cookie Clicker. |
Snowball cookies | 10 UnV | Cookie production multiplier +5%. Melts in your mouth! Made with chopped nuts and heaps of icing sugar. Serve cold. Resist the urge to throw. |
Sequilhos | 31.6 UnV | Cookie production multiplier +5%. Buttery cornstarch-based cookies eaten in Brazil; the decorative grooves are from pressing down on them with the back of a fork, though in a pinch you may also just slash them with Wolverine-style wrist blades. |
Hazelnut swirlies | 100 UnV | Cookie production multiplier +5%. The cocoa content of the paste inside is unfortunately just slightly too low for these to legally qualify as chocolate cookies. Also the name of a particularly nasty bullying move. |
Spritz cookies | 316.2 UnV | Cookie production multiplier +5%. Squeezed through special cookie presses into all kinds of fun shapes. Enjoyed around the holidays in Germany, along other delicious treats such as boiled cabbage and potato salad. |
Mbatata cookies | 1 DoV | Cookie production multiplier +5%. Squishy cookies from Malawi. The core ingredient is sweet potatoes; the raisins and heart shape are optional, if you hate fun. |
Springerles | 3.2 DoV | Cookie production multiplier +5%. A springerle is an ancient anise-flavored biscuit from Central Europe, imprinted by a wooden mold with any kind of interesting design such as a commemorative scene, an intricate pattern or, ah, perhaps a little horsie. |
Empire biscuits | 100T | Cookie production multiplier +2%. For your growing cookie empire, of course! |
British tea biscuits | 100T | Cookie production multiplier +2%. Quite. |
Chocolate british tea biscuits | 100T | Cookie production multiplier +2%. Yes, quite. |
Round british tea biscuits | 100T | Cookie production multiplier +2%. Yes, quite riveting. |
Round chocolate british tea biscuits | 100T | Cookie production multiplier +2%. Yes, quite riveting indeed. |
Round british tea biscuits with heart motif | 100T | Cookie production multiplier +2%. Yes, quite riveting, old chap. |
Round chocolate british tea biscuits with heart motif | 100T | Cookie production multiplier +2%. I like cookies. |
Fig gluttons | 5Qa | Cookie production multiplier +2%. Got it all figured out. |
Loreols | 5Qa | Cookie production multiplier +2%. Because, uh… they’re worth it? |
Jaffa cakes | 5Qa | Cookie production multiplier +2%. If you want to bake a cookie from scratch, you must first build a factory. |
Grease’s cups | 5Qa | Cookie production multiplier +2%. Extra-greasy peanut butter. |
Digits | 5Qa | Cookie production multiplier +2%. Three flavors, zero phalanges. |
Butter horseshoes | 100Sx | Cookie production multiplier +4%. It would behoove you to not overindulge in these. |
Butter pucks | 500Sx | Cookie production multiplier +4%. Lord, what fools these mortals be! (This is kind of a hokey reference.) |
Butter knots | 1Sp | Cookie production multiplier +4%. Look, you can call these pretzels if you want, but you’d just be fooling yourself, wouldn’t you? |
Butter slabs | 5Sp | Cookie production multiplier +4%. Nothing butter than a slab to the face. |
Butter swirls | 10Sp | Cookie production multiplier +4%. These are equal parts sugar, butter, and warm fuzzy feelings - all of which cause millions of deaths everyday. |
Lombardia cookies | 5Sx | Cookie production multiplier +3%. These come from those farms with the really good memory. |
Bastenaken cookies | 5Sx | Cookie production multiplier +3%. French cookies made of delicious cinnamon and candy sugar. These do not contain Nuts! |
Festivity loops | 5Qa | Cookie production multiplier +2%. These garish biscuits are a perfect fit for children’s birthday parties or the funerals of strange, eccentric billionaires. |
Havabreaks | 5Oc | Cookie production multiplier +2%. You can snap the sections neatly or just bite into the whole thing like some kind of lunatic. Some oversea countries manufacture these in hundreds of unique flavors, such as green tea, lobster bisque, and dark chocolate. |
Zilla wafers | 5No | Cookie production multiplier +2%. Popular vanilla-flavored biscuits that somehow keep ending up in banana pudding. Themed after a beloved radioactive prehistoric monster, for some reason. |
Dim Dams | 5Dc | Cookie production multiplier +2%. Two biscuits joined by chocolate and coated in even more chocolate. You wonder - which one is the dim, and which one is the dam? |
Pokey | 5 UnD | Cookie production multiplier +2%. While commonly thought to be named so because it’s fun to poke your classmates with these, Pokey-brand biscuit sticks actually get their name from their popularity in smoke-free prisons, where they’re commonly smuggled and traded in lieu of cigarettes. |
Nines | 5 DoD | Cookie production multiplier +2%. Fancy little squares of dark chocolate filled with frosty mint fondant. Named after the suggested hour of consumption. Some would gatekeep them from the status of cookies as they involve very little in the way of pastry, but here at Cookie Clicker, that’s just not what we’re about. |
Rose macarons | 9,999 | Cookie production multiplier +3%. Although an odd flavor, these pastries recently rose in popularity. |
Lemon macarons | 10M | Cookie production multiplier +3%. Tastefully sour, delightful treats. |
Chocolate macarons | 10B | Cookie production multiplier +3%. They’re like tiny sugary burgers! |
Pistachio macarons | 10T | Cookie production multiplier +3%. Pistachio shells now removed after multiple complaints. |
Hazelnut macarons | 10Qa | Cookie production multiplier +3%. These go especially well with coffee. |
Violet macarons | 10Qi | Cookie production multiplier +3%. It’s like spraying perfume into your mouth! |
Caramel macarons | 10Sx | Cookie production multiplier +3%. The saltiest, chewiest of them all. |
Licorice macarons | 10Sp | Cookie production multiplier +3%. Also known as “blackarons”. |
Earl Grey macarons | 10Oc | Cookie production multiplier +3%. Best served hot, make it so! |
Also known as cream puffs, these pastries are light, fluffy, filled with whipped cream and fun to throw at people when snowballs are running scarce. |
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Guaranteed to contain at least 0.3% jelly filling, or your money back. You can still see the jelly stab wound! |
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Absolutely gooey with sugar. The hole is the tastiest part! |
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The cake is a Portal reference! |
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It’s not easy to come up with flavor text for something as generic as this, but some would say it’s a piece of cake. |
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It is said that some grandmas go rogue and bake these instead. |
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Meringue is a finicky substance made of sugar and egg whites that requires specific atmospheric conditions to be baked at all. The lemon, as far as we can tell, isn’t nearly as picky. |
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Look around. A rude man in a striped shirt bikes past you. He smells of cigarettes and café-au-lait. Somewhere, a mime uses his moustache to make fun of the British. 300 pigeons fly overhead. Relax. You’re experiencing croissant. |
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Layers of paper-thin dough and crushed pistachios, absolutely sticky with honey and all kinds of other good things; just what you need to conceal your identity during that bank heist. |
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Bursting with infinite potential, but can also be eaten as is. Arguably worth the salmonella. |
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This cookie flew too close to the sun and is now a shadow of its former self. If only you remembered to set a timer, you wouldn’t have this tragedy on your hands… |
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This has to be the saddest thing you’ve ever seen. |
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What you’re currently reading is what gives this cookie its inimitable flavor. |
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Uncomfortably detailed, like those weird stories your aunt keeps telling at parties. |
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These are the non-flavored kind with no salt added. Really just a judgment-free wheat square begging to have bits of ham and spreadable cheese piled onto it, its main contribution being “crunchy”. |
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They’ll fry anything these days. Drizzled in hot chocolate syrup, just like in state fairs. Spikes up your blood sugar AND your cholesterol! |
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A crisp slice of bread, begging for some butter and jam. Why do people keep proposing these at parties? |
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It’s time. |
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These aren’t the cookies you’re looking for. |
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Absolutely no relation to cookies whatsoever - Orteil just wanted an excuse to draw a cheeseburger. |
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The start of something beautiful. |
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What is a pizza if not a large, chewy cookie, frosted with a rather exuberant tomato & cheese icing? Not a cookie, that’s what. |
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There are two pillars to the world of sweets: pastries, of course - and candy. You could make a whole new game just about these, but for now, please enjoy these assorted generic treats. |
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Skull cookies | 444.4B | Cookie production multiplier +2%. Wanna know something spooky? You’ve got one of these inside your head RIGHT NOW. |
Ghost cookies | 444.4B | Cookie production multiplier +2%. They’re something strange, but they look pretty good! |
Bat cookies | 444.4B | Cookie production multiplier +2%. The cookies this town deserves. |
Slime cookies | 444.4B | Cookie production multiplier +2%. The incredible melting cookies! |
Pumpkin cookies | 444.4B | Cookie production multiplier +2%. Not even pumpkin-flavored. Tastes like glazing. Yeugh. |
Eyeball cookies | 444.4B | Cookie production multiplier +2%. When you stare into the cookie, the cookie stares back at you. |
Spider cookies | 444.4B | Cookie production multiplier +2%. You found the recipe on the web. They do whatever a cookie can. |
Christmas tree biscuits | 252.5B | Cookie production multiplier +2%. Whose pine is it anyway? |
Snowflake biscuits | 252.5B | Cookie production multiplier +2%. Mass-produced to be unique in every way. |
Snowman biscuits | 252.5B | Cookie production multiplier +2%. It’s frosted. Doubly so. |
Holly biscuits | 252.5B | Cookie production multiplier +2%. You don’t smooch under these ones. That would be the mistletoe (which, botanically, is a smellier variant of the mistlefinger). |
Candy cane biscuits | 252.5B | Cookie production multiplier +2%. It’s two treats in one! (Further inspection reveals the frosting does not actually taste like peppermint, but like mundane sugary frosting.) |
Bell biscuits | 252.5B | Cookie production multiplier +2%. What do these even have to do with christmas? Who cares, ring them in! |
Present biscuits | 252.5B | Cookie production multiplier +2%. The prequel to future biscuits. Watch out! |
They taste incredibly stale, even when baked fresh. |
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Really good dipped in hot chocolate. |
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Fragrant and mealy, with a slight yellow aftertaste. |
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These are tastier than you’d expect, but not by much. |
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The only reason you’d consider these to be cookies is because you feel slightly sorry for them. |
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Pure heart biscuits | 1M | Cookie production multiplier +2%. Melty white chocolate that says “I like like you”. |
Ardent heart biscuits | 1B | Cookie production multiplier +2%. A red hot cherry biscuit that will nudge the target of your affection in interesting directions. |
Sour heart biscuits | 1T | Cookie production multiplier +2%. A bitter lime biscuit for the lonely and the heart-broken. |
Weeping heart biscuits | 1Qa | Cookie production multiplier +2%. An ice-cold blueberry biscuit, symbol of a mending heart. |
Golden heart biscuits | 1Qi | Cookie production multiplier +2%. A beautiful biscuit to symbolize kindness, true love, and sincerity. |
Eternal heart biscuits | 1Sx | Cookie production multiplier +2%. Silver icing for a very special someone you’ve liked for a long, long time. |
Prism heart biscuits | 1Sp | Cookie production multiplier +2%. An every-flavor biscuit that stands for universal love and being true to yourself. |
Dragon cookie | 70Qa | Cookie production multiplier +5%. Imbued with the vigor and vitality of a full-grown cookie dragon, this mystical cookie will embolden your empire for the generations to come. |
Milk chocolate butter biscuit | 1Sx | Cookie production multiplier +10%. Rewarded for owning 100 of everything. It bears the engraving of a fine entrepreneur. |
Dark chocolate butter biscuit | 1Sp | Cookie production multiplier +10%. Rewarded for owning 150 of everything. It is adorned with the image of an experienced cookie tycoon. |
White chocolate butter biscuit | 1Oc | Cookie production multiplier +10%. Rewarded for owning 200 of everything. The chocolate is chiseled to depict a masterful pastry magnate. |
Ruby chocolate butter biscuit | 1No | Cookie production multiplier +10%. Rewarded for owning 250 of everything. Covered in a rare red chocolate, this biscuit is etched to represent the face of a cookie industrialist gone mad with power. |
Lavender chocolate butter biscuit | 1Dc | Cookie production multiplier +10%. Rewarded for owning 300 of everything. This subtly-flavored biscuit represents the accomplishments of decades of top-secret research. The molded design on the chocolate resembles a well-known entrepreneur who gave their all to the ancient path of baking. |
Synthetic chocolate green honey butter biscuit | 1 UnD | Cookie production multiplier +10%. Rewarded for owning 350 of everything. The recipe for this butter biscuit was once the sole heritage of an ancient mountain monastery. Its flavor is so refined that only a slab of lab-made chocolate specifically engineered to be completely tasteless could complement it. Also it’s got your face on it. |
Royal raspberry chocolate butter biscuit | 1 DoD | Cookie production multiplier +10%. Rewarded for owning 400 of everything. Once reserved for the megalomaniac elite, this unique strain of fruity chocolate has a flavor and texture unlike any other. Whether its exorbitant worth is improved or lessened by the presence of your likeness on it still remains to be seen. |
Ultra-concentrated high-energy chocolate butter biscuit | 1 TrD | Cookie production multiplier +10%. Rewarded for owning 450 of everything. Infused with the power of several hydrogen bombs through a process that left most nuclear engineers and shareholders perplexed. Currently at the center of some rather heated United Nations meetings. Going in more detail about this chocolate would violate several state secrets, but we’ll just add that someone’s bust seems to be pictured on it. Perhaps yours? |
Pure pitch-black chocolate butter biscuit | 1 QaD | Cookie production multiplier +10%. Rewarded for owning 500 of everything. This chocolate is so pure and so flawless that it has no color of its own, instead taking on the appearance of whatever is around it. You’re a bit surprised to notice that this one isn’t stamped with your effigy, as its surface is perfectly smooth (to the picometer) - until you realize it’s quite literally reflecting your own face like a mirror. |
Cosmic chocolate butter biscuit | 100 SpD | Cookie production multiplier +10%. Rewarded for owning 550 of everything. Through some strange trick of magic or technology, looking at this cookie is like peering into a deep ocean of ancient stars. The origins of this biscuit are unknown; its manufacture, as far as your best investigators can tell, left no paper trail. From a certain angle, if you squint hard enough, you’ll notice that a number of stars near the center are arranged to resemble the outline of your own face. |
Butter biscuit (with butter) | 100 OcD | Cookie production multiplier +10%. Rewarded for owning 600 of everything. This is a plain butter biscuit. It’s got some butter on it. The butter doesn’t look like anything in particular. |
Everybutter biscuit | 100 NoD | Cookie production multiplier +10%. Rewarded for owning 650 of everything. This biscuit is baked with, and coated in, every kind of butter ever imagined, from every human culture and a good few alien ones too. Some of them perhaps display hallucinogenic traits, as the biscuit seems to change shape in front of you - seemingly shifting between visions of every past and future you. |
Personal biscuit | 100 V | Cookie production multiplier +10%. Rewarded for owning 700 of everything. This biscuit was designed and bred through the combined fields of baking and exploratory genomics, resulting in a perfect biscuit-shaped organism, sole exemplar of its own species; infused with a sapient mind and bootstrapped with a copy of your own consciousness, it slumbers immortally within its display case, dreaming idly about much the same things you do. |
Bingo center/Research facility | 1Qa | Grandmas are 4 times as efficient. Unlocks research in the Special tab. Grandma-operated science lab and leisure club. What could possibly keep those grandmothers in check?… Bingo. |
Specialized chocolate chips | 1Qa | Cookie production multiplier +1%. Computer-designed chocolate chips. Computer chips, if you will. |
Designer cocoa beans | 2Qa | Cookie production multiplier +2%. Now more aerodynamic than ever! |
Ritual rolling pins | 4Qa | Grandmas are twice as efficient. The result of years of scientific research! |
Underworld ovens | 8Qa | Cookie production multiplier +3%. Powered by science, of course! |
One mind | 16Qa | Each grandma gains +0.02 base CpS per grandma.Note: the grandmothers are growing restless. Do not encourage them. We are one. We are many. |
Exotic nuts | 32Qa | Cookie production multiplier +4%. You’ll go crazy over these! |
Communal brainsweep | 64Qa | Each grandma gains +0.02 base CpS per grandma.Note: proceeding any further in scientific research may have unexpected results. You have been warned. We fuse. We merge. We grow. |
Arcane sugar | 128Qa | Cookie production multiplier +5%. Tastes like insects, ligaments, and molasses. |
Elder Pact | 256Qa | Each grandma gains +0.05 base CpS per portal.Note: this is a bad idea. squirm crawl slither writhe today we rise |
Elder Pledge | 0 | Contains the wrath of the elders, at least for a while. This is a simple ritual involving anti-aging cream, cookie batter mixed in the moonlight, and a live chicken. |
Elder Covenant | 66.7T | Puts a permanent end to the elders’ wrath, at the price of 5% of your CpS. This is a complicated ritual involving silly, inconsequential trivialities such as cursed laxatives, century-old cacao, and an infant. Don’t question it. |
Revoke Elder Covenant | 6.7B | You will get 5% of your CpS back, but the grandmatriarchs will return. we rise again |
Sacrificial rolling pins | 2.9T | Elder pledges last twice as long. These are mostly just for spreading the anti-aging cream. (And accessorily, shortening the chicken’s suffering.) |
Fortune #001 | 1.2No | Cursors are 7% more efficient and 7% cheaper. Fingers are not the only thing you can count on. |
Fortune #002 | 7.8No | Grandmas are 7% more efficient and 7% cheaper. A wrinkle is a crack in a mundane facade. |
Fortune #003 | 85.6No | Farms are 7% more efficient and 7% cheaper. The seeds of tomorrow already lie within the seeds of today. |
Fortune #004 | 933.3No | Mines are 7% more efficient and 7% cheaper. Riches from deep under elevate you all the same. |
Fortune #005 | 10.1Dc | Factories are 7% more efficient and 7% cheaper. True worth is not in what you find, but in what you make. |
Fortune #006 | 108.9Dc | Banks are 7% more efficient and 7% cheaper. The value of money means nothing to a pocket. |
Fortune #007 | 1.6 UnD | Temples are 7% more efficient and 7% cheaper. Not all guides deserve worship. |
Fortune #008 | 25.7 UnD | Wizard towers are 7% more efficient and 7% cheaper. Magic is about two things - showmanship, and rabbits. |
Fortune #009 | 396.7 UnD | Shipments are 7% more efficient and 7% cheaper. Every mile travelled expands the mind by just as much. |
Fortune #010 | 5.8 DoD | Alchemy labs are 7% more efficient and 7% cheaper. Change what you cannot accept. Furthermore: accept nothing. |
Fortune #011 | 77.8 DoD | Portals are 7% more efficient and 7% cheaper. Every doorway is a gamble. Tread with care. |
Fortune #012 | 1.1 TrD | Time machines are 7% more efficient and 7% cheaper. Do your future self a favor; they’ll thank you for it. |
Fortune #013 | 13.2 TrD | Antimatter condensers are 7% more efficient and 7% cheaper. The world is made of what we put into it. |
Fortune #014 | 163.3 TrD | Prisms are 7% more efficient and 7% cheaper. Staring at a dazzling light can blind you back to darkness. |
Fortune #015 | 2 QaD | Chancemakers are 7% more efficient and 7% cheaper. Don’t leave to blind chance what you could accomplish with deaf skill. |
Fortune #016 | 24.1 QaD | Fractal engines are 7% more efficient and 7% cheaper. It’s good to see yourself in others. Remember to see yourself in yourself, too. |
Fortune #017 | 5.5 QiD | Javascript consoles are 7% more efficient and 7% cheaper. If things aren’t working out for you, rewrite the rules. |
Fortune #018 | 933.3 QiD | Idleverses are 7% more efficient and 7% cheaper. There’s plenty of everyone, but only one of you. |
Fortune #019 | 147.8 SxD | Cortex bakers are 7% more efficient and 7% cheaper. The smartest way to think is not to think at all. |
Fortune #020 | 42 SpD | You are 7% more efficient and 7% cheaper. No matter how hard you try, you’re never truly alone. |
Fortune #100 | 7.8Dc | All buildings and upgrades are 1% cheaper. Cookie production multiplier +1%. True wealth is counted in gifts. |
Fortune #101 | 7.8 UnD | Cookie production multiplier +7%. Some people dream of fortunes; others dream of cookies. |
Fortune #102 | 7.8 DoD | +2% cookie production from power click buffs. (Must own the Power clicks upgrade.) Help, I’m trapped in a mobile game! |
Fortune #103 | 7.8 TrD | You gain more CpS the more milk you have. Don’t believe the superstitions; all cats are good luck. |
Fortune #104 | 7.8 DoD | Tapping gains +1% of your CpS. Remember to stay in touch. |
Kitten helpers | 9M | You gain more CpS the more milk you have. meow may I help you |
Kitten workers | 9B | You gain more CpS the more milk you have. meow meow meow meow |
Kitten engineers | 90T | You gain more CpS the more milk you have. meow meow meow meow, sir |
Kitten overseers | 90Qa | You gain more CpS the more milk you have. my purrpose is to serve you, sir |
Kitten managers | 900Qi | You gain more CpS the more milk you have. that’s not gonna paws any problem, sir |
Kitten accountants | 900Sx | You gain more CpS the more milk you have. business going great, sir |
Kitten specialists | 900Sp | You gain more CpS the more milk you have. optimeowzing your workflow like whoah, sir |
Kitten experts | 900Oc | You gain more CpS the more milk you have. 10 years expurrrtise in the cookie business, sir |
Kitten consultants | 900No | You gain more CpS the more milk you have. glad to be overpaid to work with you, sir |
Kitten assistants to the regional manager | 900Dc | You gain more CpS the more milk you have. nothing stresses meowt… except having to seek the approval of my inferiors, sir |
Kitten marketeers | 900 UnD | You gain more CpS the more milk you have. no such thing as a saturated markit, sir |
Kitten analysts | 900 DoD | You gain more CpS the more milk you have. based on purrent return-on-investment meowdels we should be able to affurd to pay our empawyees somewhere around next century, sir |
Kitten executives | 900 TrD | You gain more CpS the more milk you have. ready to execute whatever and whoever you’d like, sir |
Kitten admins | 900 QaD | You gain more CpS the more milk you have. leadership ain’t easy, sir |
Kitten strategists | 900 QiD | You gain more CpS the more milk you have. out with the old in with the mew, sir |
Festive biscuit | 1B | Triggers Christmas season. ‘Twas the night before Christmas- or was it? |
Ghostly biscuit | 1B | Triggers Halloween season. spooky scary skeletons will wake you with a boo |
Lovesick biscuit | 1B | Triggers Valentine’s day season. Romance never goes out of fashion. |
Fool’s biscuit | 1B | Triggers Business day season. Business. Serious business. This is absolutely all of your business. |
Bunny biscuit | 1B | Triggers Easter season. All the world will be your enemy and when they catch you, they will kill you… but first they must catch you. |
Chicken egg | 1T | Cookie production multiplier +1%. Cost scales with how many eggs you’ve found. The egg. The egg came first. Get over it. |
Duck egg | 1T | Cookie production multiplier +1%. Cost scales with how many eggs you’ve found. Then he waddled away. |
Turkey egg | 1T | Cookie production multiplier +1%. Cost scales with how many eggs you’ve found. These hatch into strange, hand-shaped creatures. |
Quail egg | 1T | Cookie production multiplier +1%. Cost scales with how many eggs you’ve found. These eggs are positively tiny. I mean look at them. How does this happen? Whose idea was that? |
Robin egg | 1T | Cookie production multiplier +1%. Cost scales with how many eggs you’ve found. Holy azure-hued shelled embryos! |
Ostrich egg | 1T | Cookie production multiplier +1%. Cost scales with how many eggs you’ve found. One of the largest eggs in the world. More like ostrouch, am I right? Guys? |
Cassowary egg | 1T | Cookie production multiplier +1%. Cost scales with how many eggs you’ve found. The cassowary is taller than you, possesses murderous claws and can easily outrun you. You’d do well to be casso-wary of them. |
Salmon roe | 1T | Cookie production multiplier +1%. Cost scales with how many eggs you’ve found. Do the impossible, see the invisible. Roe roe, fight the power? |
Frogspawn | 1T | Cookie production multiplier +1%. Cost scales with how many eggs you’ve found. I was going to make a pun about how these “toadally look like eyeballs”, but froget it. |
Shark egg | 1T | Cookie production multiplier +1%. Cost scales with how many eggs you’ve found. HELLO IS THIS FOOD? LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT FOOD. WHY DO I KEEP EATING MY FRIENDS |
Turtle egg | 1T | Cookie production multiplier +1%. Cost scales with how many eggs you’ve found. Turtles, right? Hatch from shells. Grow into shells. What’s up with that? Now for my skit about airplane food. |
Ant larva | 1T | Cookie production multiplier +1%. Cost scales with how many eggs you’ve found. These are a delicacy in some countries, I swear. You will let these invade your digestive tract, and you will derive great pleasure from it. And all will be well. |
Golden goose egg | 100T | Golden cookies appear 5% more often. Cost scales with how many eggs you’ve found. The sole vestige of a tragic tale involving misguided investments. |
Faberge egg | 100T | All buildings and upgrades are 1% cheaper. Cost scales with how many eggs you’ve found. This outrageous egg is definitely fab. |
Wrinklerspawn | 100T | Wrinklers explode into 5% more cookies. Cost scales with how many eggs you’ve found. Look at this little guy! It’s gonna be a big boy someday! Yes it is! |
Cookie egg | 100T | Clicking is 10% more powerful. Cost scales with how many eggs you’ve found. The shell appears to be chipped. I wonder what’s inside this one! |
Omelette | 100T | Other eggs appear 10% more frequently. Cost scales with how many eggs you’ve found. Fromage not included. |
Chocolate egg | 100T | Contains a lot of cookies. Cost scales with how many eggs you’ve found. Laid by the elusive cocoa bird. There’s a surprise inside! |
Century egg | 100T | You continually gain more CpS the longer you’ve played in the current ascension. Cost scales with how many eggs you’ve found. Actually not centuries-old. This one isn’t a day over 86! |
“egg” | 100T | +9 CpS hey it’s “egg” |
A festive hat | 25 | Unlocks… something. Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse. |
Increased merriness | 2,525 | Cookie production multiplier +15%. Cost scales with Santa level. It turns out that the key to increased merriness, strangely enough, happens to be a good campfire and some s’mores. You know what they say, after all; the s’more, the merrier. |
Improved jolliness | 2,525 | Cookie production multiplier +15%. Cost scales with Santa level. A nice wobbly belly goes a long way. You jolly? |
A lump of coal | 2,525 | Cookie production multiplier +1%. Cost scales with Santa level. Some of the world’s worst stocking stuffing. I guess you could try starting your own little industrial revolution, or something?… |
An itchy sweater | 2,525 | Cookie production multiplier +1%. Cost scales with Santa level. You don’t know what’s worse : the embarrassingly quaint “elf on reindeer” motif, or the fact that wearing it makes you feel like you’re wrapped in a dead sasquatch. |
Reindeer baking grounds | 2,525 | Reindeer appear twice as frequently. Cost scales with Santa level. Male reindeer are from Mars; female reindeer are from venison. |
Weighted sleighs | 2,525 | Reindeer are twice as slow. Cost scales with Santa level. Hope it was worth the weight. (Something something forced into cervidude) |
Ho ho ho-flavored frosting | 2,525 | Reindeer give twice as much. Cost scales with Santa level. It’s time to up the antler. |
Season savings | 2,525 | All buildings are 1% cheaper. Cost scales with Santa level. By Santa’s beard, what savings! But who will save us? |
Toy workshop | 2,525 | All upgrades are 5% cheaper. Cost scales with Santa level. Watch yours-elf around elvesdroppers who might steal our production secrets. Or elven worse! |
Naughty list | 2,525 | Grandmas are twice as efficient. Cost scales with Santa level. This list contains every unholy deed perpetuated by grandmakind. He won’t be checking this one twice. Once. Once is enough. |
Santa’s bottomless bag | 2,525 | Random drops are 10% more common. Cost scales with Santa level. This is one bottom you can’t check out. |
Santa’s helpers | 2,525 | Clicking is 10% more powerful. Cost scales with Santa level. Some choose to help hamburger; some choose to help you. To each their own, I guess. |
Santa’s legacy | 2,525 | Cookie production multiplier +3% per Santa’s levels. Cost scales with Santa level. In the north pole, you gotta get the elves first. Then when you get the elves, you start making the toys. Then when you get the toys… then you get the cookies. |
Santa’s milk and cookies | 2,525 | Milk is 5% more powerful. Cost scales with Santa level. Part of Santa’s dreadfully unbalanced diet. |
Santa’s dominion | 2.5Qa | Cookie production multiplier +20%. All buildings are 1% cheaper. All upgrades are 2% cheaper. My name is Claus, king of kings; Look on my toys, ye Mighty, and despair! |
Wrinkler ambergris | 60 | Cookie production multiplier +6%. All upgrades are 1% cheaper. Cost scales with CpS. Occasionally regurgitated by wrinklers. The byproduct of some obscure metabolic process or other, it is as rare and precious as it is pungent. Makes for a great toast spread. |
A crumbly egg | 25 | Unlocks the cookie dragon egg. Thank you for adopting this robust, fun-loving cookie dragon! It will bring you years of joy and entertainment. Keep in a dry and cool place, and away from other house pets. Subscription to home insurance is strongly advised. |
Dragon scale | 999 | Cookie production multiplier +3%. Cost scales with CpS, but 10 times cheaper with a fully-trained dragon. Your dragon sheds these regularly, so this one probably won’t be missed. Note: icon not to scale. |
Dragon claw | 999 | Clicking is 3% more powerful. Cost scales with CpS, but 10 times cheaper with a fully-trained dragon. Will grow back in a few days’ time. A six-inch retractable claw, like a razor, from the middle toe. So you know, try to show a little respect. |
Dragon fang | 999 | Golden cookies give 3% more cookies. Dragon harvest and Dragonflight are 10% stronger. Cost scales with CpS, but 10 times cheaper with a fully-trained dragon. Just a fallen baby tooth your dragon wanted you to have, as a gift. It might be smaller than an adult tooth, but it’s still frighteningly sharp - and displays some awe-inspiring cavities, which you might expect from a creature made out of sweets. |
Dragon teddy bear | 999 | Random drops are 3% more common. Cost scales with CpS, but 10 times cheaper with a fully-trained dragon. Your dragon used to sleep with this, but it’s yours now. Crafted in the likeness of a fearsome beast. Stuffed with magical herbs picked long ago by a wandering wizard. Woven from elven yarn and a polyester blend. |
Heavenly chip secret | 11 | Unlocks 5% of the potential of your prestige level. Grants the knowledge of heavenly chips, and how to use them to make baking more efficient. It’s a secret to everyone. |
Heavenly cookie stand | 1,111 | Unlocks 25% of the potential of your prestige level. Don’t forget to visit the heavenly lemonade stand afterwards. When afterlife gives you lemons… |
Heavenly bakery | 111,111 | Unlocks 50% of the potential of your prestige level. Also sells godly cakes and divine pastries. The pretzels aren’t too bad either. |
Heavenly confectionery | 11.1M | Unlocks 75% of the potential of your prestige level. They say angel bakers work there. They take angel lunch breaks and sometimes go on angel strikes. |
Heavenly key | 1.1B | Unlocks 100% of the potential of your prestige level. This is the key to the pearly (and tasty) gates of pastry heaven, granting you access to your entire stockpile of heavenly chips for baking purposes. May you use them wisely. |
Golden switch [off] | 1M | Turning this on will passively boost your CpS, but prevents golden cookies from spawning. Cost is equal to 1 hour of production. |
Golden switch [on] | 1M | The switch is currently boosting your CpS; it also prevents golden cookies from spawning. Turning it off will revert those effects. Cost is equal to 1 hour of production. |
Birthday cookie | 100Oc | Cookie production multiplier +1% for every year Cookie Clicker has existed (currently: +10%). Thank you for playing Cookie Clicker! -Orteil |